One of the greatest blessings of homeschooling for our family is that it let us give our daughters a girlhood.
I think girls in our society are increasingly pressured to be women before they’re ready, which is a very dangerous thing. By raising our girls at home, my husband and I were able to let them become who they were meant to be without the world’s emphasis on becoming Lolita.
I was reminded of how messed up the worldly attitude toward girls has become when I read this article about companies promoting the celebrity lifestyle to young girls, complete with limo rides and fake champagne, tattoos and opportunities to strut their stuff on the catwalk.
Of course, these companies wouldn’t even be in business if it weren’t for parents who pay for these services. And while it’s every parent’s right to make that choice, it’s my right to think they’re fools. The last thing young girls need is to be pushed toward early maturity.
Our girls rode bikes and roller-bladed, played at the park and had fun with their friends outside. They read books, sewed and made crafts, cooked and baked and played with their siblings. It was our goal to give them that kind of life, and it was well worth the sacrifices it took, personally and financially, to have them home all the time instead of going to public school, where the declining morals of our society proliferate like a noxious mold.
Sometimes I had to be the bad guy. I remember one new girl in our neighborhood who became friends with one of our daughters. She was 9 or 10, and greatly delighted to own Janet Jackson’s latest album that included a lot of music with strong sexual references completely inappropriate for young girls. When I found out this girl’s mom was just fine with that music being played by the girls when my daughter visited, I intervened. This did not make me popular. So what? I was trying to protect my daughter’s innocence. I was doing my job.
Things have gotten worse in our culture since then. I’m glad I’m not raising young girls now. The other day I saw a girl of 8 or so trailing along behind her mother in the grocery store. She was busy texting someone and completely oblivious to her surroundings. Just what a little girl needs…..24/7 contact with her peers.
Texting is just one more way that young girls can act like adults today. But they need to have a girlhood first. Surely I’m not the only mom that thinks so….am I?
I could not agree with you more, Barb. Moms used to ask me how I got my daughter to dress modestly and wear dresses. I told them that she didn’t have anything inappropriate in her closet!
I agree whole heartedly. It makes me so sad to see little girls made up, looking like hookers. My girls are just….girls. They are not “tweens”, they are not future fashion models. They are just….little girls.
Woo hoo I am not the only one out there. I have a seven and 3 yrold girls. They like being little girls. The 7 yr old is often considered imature for her age…. she likes dolls, silly summer dresses (you know little girl dresses not small womens dresses), playing in the mud and just acting like a little girl. She does not know anything about pop music or who the latest star is, she does not know that 7 yr olds do not watch dora (probably because they watch very little tv LOL), or act like princesses (sometimes on a pirate ship) and I am ok with all of that. She is young and innocent and I would like to keep that as long as possible:). I just wish I could find more little girls her age whose parents think like that.
Carol, that’s a key….it’s up to the parents not to buy the inappropriate stuff!
Janet, your girls are fortunate 🙂
Teresa, it is hard to find like-minded parents of girls like that. We had a hard time doing so for our girls. And a couple of times, after we found some, they had to move away because of the father’s job! But my eldest daughter says not having tons of female friends made her stronger. I hope you find some nice friends for your girls.
I completely agree. Thus far I have three girls and it is one of my most strident efforts: to shield them from the oversexed media aimed at them and ALL women!
Oh, Tori, it’s a continual battle. I wish more moms felt like you do.
I feel like I have already lost the battle. I attend a megachurch. There are many homeschool families, but when my daughter progressed to middle school, the first thing she wanted was to wear make up. I was shocked! Tell me it’s not too late! Dad is oblivious.
Evelyn
Don’t give up, Evelyn. (Maybe Dad is in denial.) I think the best advice I got from older moms when my girls were teens was to pick my battles. I let them do some things while saying no to others. It’s not easy, that’s for sure! Pray for wisdom and hang in there, ok?
You are DEFINITELY not the only one to think that way, Barb! I am convinced that I am the only person in N.W. Pennsylvania that thinks that way though!:( I have a 9yo and 5yo and we don’t know any like minded people so we feel a little isolated but I know that we are pleasing God and that keeps me going. Stay strong ladies! We never know who is watching and maybe learning. Thank you for the encouragement Barb and God bless you.
I agree, girl’s are growing up to fast.. And loosing their innocence.. 🙂
Oh, this is so refreshing. My daughter is 10 and this is our first year of homeschooling. The social pressures are ridiculous in public schools, and while schools try to “help out” in these situations, most of the time, they make it worse. Now that she is home where she belongs, she can be a “kid”. She does not cry everyday after school like she did last year, and she does not feel the academic and social pressures from the year before. I thank God for leading me in this direction.
God bless you, too, Holly—your girls are fortunate to have you as a mom!
It’s scary, isn’t it, Tabitha?
How wonderful for your daughter, Kristen, that you’ve chosen to homeschool her. Congratulations on your decision!
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I was not popular either when I stepped in to protect my girls from things that were too old for them. Sadly, even the moms in the homeschool group thought I was overprotective. But then our kids starting taking some outside classes with another group of homeschoolers and, lo and behold, in that group I was the lenient mom. My standards didn’t change, but my girls’ perspective of them did when they saw the reactions of each group. I completely agree, let girls be girls. But it isn’t a battle over clothes and make-up, it’s a battle for their hearts.
Barbara, I responded to this post with a post of my own- an interview with my two teenage daughters.
http://fallinglikerain-sandy.blogspot.com/2011/03/what-my-homeschooled-girls-really-think.html
Sandy, thank you for sharing not only your opinion, but your daughters’ opinions on this subject. You’ve raised a couple of wonderful young women. I hope everyone will check out the link Sandy posts above. Thought-provoking and honest!
You only get to have a childhood… once. Once innocence is lost, it’s gone.
We parents have to fight like warriors to ensure our kids’ childhoods are protected.
But it’s well worth the fight. I believe that childhood core innocence stays in our hearts and we can revisit it throughout our lives, and that it’s essential to our sanity. If we have it. These poor young kids whose parents don’t fight to protect them have lost something invaluable.
You are so right, Maureen. It’s something you can never get back once it’s lost.
YES! This is one aspect of homeschool that I relish. This getting to promote girls being girls and sheltering from the rush to be women.
It was so gratifying, Becca, to see my girls grow up unhurried to be women. I feel so sorry for the young girls under so much pressure in our culture. Thanks for stopping by.