When Dad Comes Home To Work
By Barbara FrankFor many homeschooling families, bringing Dad home to work is their dream; for my family, it's been a dream come true. For the past 13 years, my husband has run a business from home.
He first started his business when our four children were ages 2-11, so it was an especially good time for me to have him around. Over the years, his presence at home during the day made discipline much easier (especially when our kids reached their teen years). It was a great blessing for the six of us to be together every day; now that two of our children are out of the house, we are especially grateful for those years we had together.
That's the greatest advantage of having your husband come home to work: your family life improves in quality and quantity. With your husband around to share in raising your children on a daily basis, your life as a mother becomes much easier, too. Another bonus is the time you have together as a couple. I love having my husband around the house, and we enjoy spending time together, so having him home has blessed our relationship.
However, I don't want you to get the idea from all my sentimental comments that life is perfect when your husband works at home. There are some disadvantages, and the main one is that you can no longer rely on a regular paycheck when you're self-employed. It's amazing how accustomed you can get to regular money coming in. What a shock it is when that changes! You may have been used to Friday as payday, but when you're self-employed you can go several Fridays with no pay. Then all of a sudden every client pays up, and you must resist the temptation to take the kids on vacation now that it seems as though you've hit the mother lode. Instead, you have to sock away what's left after you pay the bills so you have money for the next few weeks or months.
Another disadvantage is that you now have to find health insurance. This can be a daunting proposition; compared to group insurance, the premiums involved in buying your own insurance are pretty steep. This assumes you can even find health insurance; because our son has Down syndrome, we have been turned down many, many times. It was a great relief (and the answer to many prayers) when we were finally approved for the insurance we have now.
On a personal level, as much as you love your husband, having him home will require you to make some adjustments. At the time mine came home, I had been "running my own ship" for 12 years. Where we went during the day, how I did things around the house, what the kids were allowed to do...these areas had been solely my responsibility since my first child was born, so it took some time for me to adjust to my husband having an opinion about them. Before, he hadn't been around during the day, but now he was, so I couldn't just act as if he wasn't there. It took me a while to get used to sharing my areas of responsibility with him, but we worked it out.
Likewise, it was a bit unsettling at first for the kids, who were used to my way of doing things. Their dad is stricter than me in some areas, and more relaxed in others. It took some time for everyone to adjust. But once we did, it became obvious that the kids were better off for having their dad around. The added bonus of him being free to go to the pool with them and do other things that I couldn't do because of our little one's medical issues was certainly a plus. As for me, I was able to do things I couldn't do otherwise because now my husband could keep an eye on our little guy. Much of the church work I've done over the years was only possible because my husband could be home with our son.
If bringing your husband home is a dream of yours, keep in mind that it has to be his dream, too. I prayed for 6 or 7 years before it became my husband's desire; once he came home, it didn't take long for him to decide that he enjoyed being at home during the day.
It's also important to be realistic about how much time your husband will actually have to spend with everyone during the day. In theory, there should be times when he works, and times when he doesn't and you can do fun things as a family. But what happens in reality is that either he is working, or he is drumming up business. That's how it is when you have many mouths to feed. The fun times get squeezed in whenever possible.
There are three things you and your husband should consider doing if he wants to start a business and work from home:
- Before your husband quits his current job, cut way back on your expenses so that your family becomes used to living on less for a while. This might even mean moving into a less expensive home and/or area.
- The money you save by cutting expenses should be squirreled away into a cash reserve, so that you have money for living expenses while waiting for the business to grow big enough to support your family.
- Consider starting the business as a side business first: this lets you see if the business is likely to be viable. In the meantime, you have not cut off the current source of money, your husband's full-time job.
It's been five years since we started another business, Cardamom Publishers. If you combine a business of your own with your husband's business, you now have two sources of income without either of you having to leave home each day. Believe me, it's every bit as nice (and hectic!) as it sounds.
You can learn more about becoming a homeschooling family with a home business in Homegrown Business: How to Start & Run a Successful Business While Homeschooling. This e-Book details the lives of 29 homeschooling families with home businesses, including my own. It's packed with valuable information and inspiration. You'll find this popular e-book on our E-Books page: http://www.cardamompublishers.com/ebooks.htm.
Copyright 2008 Cardamom Publishers/Barbara Frank