Comments on: Finding Ideas, Not Discouragement

By: Barbara Frank

Barbara Frank — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:18:14 +0000

Jimmie and Sarah, I’m not sure all homeschooling parents realize that such bloggers are sharing only their good days. I meet many who feel like failures after reading posts like those. I keep them in mind when I write, which is why I share our imperfections in my book

Ruby, you’re welcome

Thanks, all, for weighing in!

By: Ruby in Montreal

Ruby in Montreal — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:51:44 +0000

I’m sure we’ve all had that feeling of being in over our heads, and not coming up to the standards fellow homeschoolers seem to set. Thanks so much for this post & reminding us to measure ourselves against ourselves.

Cheers!
Ruby

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 00:55:56 +0000

I agree….I tend to post mostly the good stuff. Why do I want to share that my 6 yr old refuses to do any work I give him? I want to share ideas and good, helpful things. But I do have to push aside my own thoughts when browsing others’ blogs….I *know* they are sharing their good days too.

By: Jimmie

Jimmie — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 14:47:03 +0000

So true. Another thing to remember is that what people blog is (generally) the best they have to offer. I’m a prime example; I don’t blog the bad days, the unfinished projects, the disasters. So it may look one way at my home if you visit my blog, but real life is much more balanced. But who wants to read the bad stuff? I stick with the good stuff and leave the negative to your imagination. The problem lies when readers assume there IS NO bad stuff. WRONG.
“Godliness with contentment” — that’s where the victorious living lies.

By: Noteworthy Links: Home Renovation Edition | Life Nurturing Education

Noteworthy Links: Home Renovation Edition | Life Nurturing Education — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 04:19:42 +0000

[...] Be wary of comparison- Finding Ideas, Not Discouragement [...]

By: Barbara Frank

Barbara Frank — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:49:22 +0000

Kristy, comparing ourselves to others is a sure source of unhappiness, either our own or others! God gave your son to you, and He’ll equip you to teach him what he needs to know

Terry, thanks for being so honest with your comment. I know there are others who will be helped by it! I’ve learned from watching other homeschooling parents (my kids were always homeschooled) that when you pull a child out of school to homeschool him, you have to “deprogram” him first. It’s hard to get reacquainted with freedom! And if your son truly does have Asperger’s, your job is harder yet even more important. Hang in there, and know that there are those who’ve done what you’re doing and are very glad they did.

Karen, good point…..and yes, it is easier said than done, isn’t it?

By: Karen Lange

Karen Lange — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:45:02 +0000

Well said! This applies with parenting, our Christian walk, etc., too. We need to find where we are supposed to be. And stay there:) Easier said than done, but a balanced mindset like yours, Barb, is the way to go.

By: Terry

Terry — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:41:26 +0000

Oh boy does that ring bells!! We have been homeschooling for less than a year, after pulling our son from public school… and it has been more downs than ups as we’ve tried to adapt to this new way of life. Only months before we pulled him from school, homeschooling was something I had thought I would NEVER be able to cope with. The idea of having my beloved, yet all-too-often-difficult-to-deal-wth child around ALL DAY scared the living daylights out of me.. no way could I cope with that! But problems at school led to it being the only choice, and the more I talked with a friend who has always homeschooled her kids and the more I researched homeschooling, the more I actually started getting excited about it!
There have been many many times along the way where I have felt like a failure… where I have wondered if maybe it would be best to put him BACK into public school, that maybe I’m holding him back by trying to teach him on my own. My partner and our oldest don’t see eye-to-eye on most things, which causes a lot of aggrivation and means that I am his sole teacher. He fights lessons on everything, wants to do nothing with his day but read and play, lost in his own imagination (we have high suspiscions he has Asberger’s Syndrome). When I see/hear my friend, and others I’ve since met in the homeschooling community here, doing well.. their kids happy with homeschooling and learning heaps, I feel even more that I’m failing. After doing more research lately, I’d say that most of what we’ve done in the last few months has been more classed as “deschooling”, and now I’m trying the Unschooling side of things. We have only just started it this week.. letting him guide his learning, but still trying to get him to understand that his days can’t be spent just playing, that there has to be at least SOME learning in there somewhere. He currently has a fascination with anything and everything Egyptian, plus enjoys science, anything “crafty”, building things with Lego, drawing, and reading.. so I’m now trying to use these interests to guide his learning and actually get him WANTING to learn. I’ve realised the important thing for him is not WHAT he learns, but more teaching him HOW to learn, how to make learning fun.. to give him the drive to teach himself, as that is a skill he will need in the adult world. I still worry that others will see it as “wasting” our day (especially my mum and grandparents who think he should be in public school and that I should be working, and my partner as he feels that “schoolwork” = “bookwork”, and anything else is just playing or mucking around), and that he won’t be learning enough or keeping up with where he should be for his age (he’s just gone 9 years old)… but I’m trying NOT to worry about that as much as I was, and trying not to compare him with other homeschooled kids.
In some ways I’m loving this “adventure”.. in other ways I still find it scares me. *sighs*

I’m sorry for having waffled on for so long.. lol.. but thank you for your post. It has again reminded me to stop comparing, and just work on what suits OUR family best.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:31:11 +0000

Amen to that. I find I am very hard on myself. I am always blaming myself when my son can’t do this or has a hard time doing that, but other kids don’t seem too.