I think homeschoolers have proven that the lack of socialization myth is just that: a myth. But the fact is that everyone, homeschooled or not, will meet all sorts of people during the course of their lives, and sometimes they’ll have questions about how to deal with them.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie has been in print since it was first published in 1936 because Carnegie was so good at explaining how to get along with people. This particular copy is a vintage copy, but I don’t know the exact year it was printed: inside it says “Copyright 1936, 85th printing.”
This is one of the books on the Recommended Reading List of my book Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers. As I said in that book:
This book is especially valuable for homeschooled students, because they will be heading out into a world where they may face some negative experiences and people that they missed out on by not attending public school.
What do you think about homeschoolers and socialization? Leave your answer as a comment on this post by Friday, March 19, and you’ll be automatically entered into a drawing for this hardback copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People.
NOTE: This contest has ended. Sorry if you didn’t win….do enter this week’s giveaway and try again 🙂
The fact that my teenagers can communicate with adults in a respectful manner, looking them in the eye and using a voice that can be understood (both audibly and without slang) and discuss items of interest to both generations, to me, proves that homeschooling supports socialization of the most important kind.
Put my name in the hat for the book. It will supplement the Zig Ziglar tapes my husband has my 15 year old listening to.
Blessings,
Carol
It has been a blessing to have homeschooled my two children–and concerning socialization, my teenagers do not feel like they have to be with those of their own age, they are able to talk to and get along well with any age, from young to elderly. What a wonderful thing! I would love to be entered into your giveaway. God bless you, Karen
I always have a hard time when people say, “Yeah, but what about socialization?” Because I WANT to say, ” I don’t WANT my children socialized the way that most children are.” But I act polite instead. 🙂
Socialization is something that is extremely difficult to achieve in a school setting where students have very little contact with anyone other than their peers. Thankfully for my homeschooled children they socialize with a richly diverse range of people of all ages in the homeschool community and in the wider community.
Home schooled children are able to communicate with people of any age, rather than being stuck dealing only with people their own age. My home schooled child is much better socialized than most of his non-home schooled peers.
We’re blessed to be able to homeschool!
I just found your blog through a homeschooling friend. I just added you into my feed. Thanks for all the info. I am going to home school my children too!
Bonnie
I am very thankful that I can homeschool. I have never believed in the socialization myth because of homeschooling. I have seen good and bad in the homeschool community and public school community which leads me to think it is more related to parenting or lack of parenting. One of my main goals for homeschooling besides a Biblical foundation and being able to think for themeslves is to give my three boys more time with their Dad, he works at home. What a wonderful way to grow up! Thanks for putting together a very interesting blog. :o)
The fact of the matter for our family is that our children interact with more people than a ‘schooled’ child. There is our Band classes, Boy Scouts, Homeschool Sports, and Gym classes. There’s field trips and community service projects, church activities and more. The difference is we know at every turn WHO they are socializing with and that is the difference! My children are polite and respectful and ‘hang out’ with children and adults that share our common views. Both our Cub Scout and Boy Scout group are large and made up of both ‘schooled’ and homeschooled boys and on many occasions people would comment that you could not tell the difference when you saw them in action together. So the whole socialization thing is a joke to anyone who really knows!
I wish for more socialization but I know many homeschoolers get it. My kids are timid so they won’t get it even in a group because they are not forced to interact.
However, they haven’t had to defend themselves from bullies and they love being home.
The very best way to socialize children is in a family setting. They are learning how to communicate with adults and children of all ages as opposed to just socializing with their age mates (as in the public school settings). This is the real world that we need to prepare our children for – one where they have to learn how to get along with all age groups.
I think our three home school graduates are very good at this and attribute it to their home schooling experience.
My kids are more “socialized” than I ever was! They interact with many people, many age groups, and are comfortable wherever we go. They have lots of “real world” experiences with less peer pressure than their friends who are in public school.
I wish I had been brought up this way.
The neatest thing I’ve seen develop in my children’s social development is that my teens like to listen to adults. The youth group at our church has dinners with the seniors a couple of times a year along with an annual game night and my kids love going and just listening to the seniors share their experiences and wisdom.
My three homeschooled children have a good social life with respectable friends of all ages. They speak in complete sentences without all of the slang and popular lingo used by most school aged children. My teenage daughter does not have to deal with the social issues that most middle school children are forced to endure and as a result is a very confident young adult. My children are very close to one another and share many experiences they would not have the opportunity to share if they were in school for 6 hours a day. Their best friends are each other and they are very content to be home rather than running around town with their friends. Homeschooling has been a wonderful experience for our entire family. It’s become a lifestyle!
My son is 4 (almost 5) and an ‘only’ child at the moment (till his sister arrives in May)- He always greets adults respectfully and loves to strike up a conversation with them.
He interacts with other children of various ages very well and all he knows is being at home with mom 😉
As a home educating mother of yet-to-be-teens I see that the training ground for effective communicators starts from the moment they learn their first words. Socialisation in the closed context of age classified peer groups of a traditional school environment or even just a local home education group becomes irrelevant when you realise that each and every one of your charges needs to learn to communicate ideas effectively with people of all ages, of any gender, race, culture or creed.
This, in and of itself, requires much more than the ability to be ‘social’ but rather requires an understanding or estimate of the receiver’s knowledge on the topic, an idea of their level of interest (and how to retain or increase it), the ability to build rapport, be empathetic, able to relate to them and demonstrate respect.
No matter which way you look at this it requires truly diverse opportunities to communicate with others. For many this comes in later years as they enter tertiary study or the workplace. However, the earlier a child starts the easier it is to learn and home educators are in a prime position to provide suitable opportunities for their children to learn these skills.
Please enter me in the drawing! This is our first year of homeschooling 2 of our 4 children. They are 10, 7, 4, & 2 years old. This socialization question has become a point of contention with our families and a friend of 25+ years. Just this weekend while visiting the long time friend her true opinion was stated. She believes we are RUINING our children by subjecting them to (gasp!) homeschool! And my own mother has said, “Poor little orphan children are not allowed to go to school”. Orphan???? See what the public school will get you?!
The attacks are great, but praise God for the strength to calmly state the facts surrounding home education. We could really use this resource! Thanks for listening.
I LOVE vintage books, sounds great. It is ironic that no one ever worried about socialization when I was in school- and even though I and my peers were heavily “socialized” we were so much more self absorbed and grouped by age that encouraged us to be even more segregated. I love that my kids can be around people of all ages
I have 2 teenagers.
I know they enjoy homeschooling but as they have grown they miss the ease that their schooled friends get to meet up with peers, or work together on projects and activities. Casual meet ups are more difficult – between school work, part time work, sports, other activities and Mum can be a drag – then it is for schooled friends who see friends each day.
They are more reserved (polite?)and quiet. They are also more individual in their style, manner and ideas than most of their peers. They just have to work at keeping contact with their friends more so than if they were at school.
This is only our second year of homeschooling but I have noticed a big difference between the attitudes and abilities to communicate in a n effective manner. I think it is great that homeschooled kids are “required” to socialize with multiple aged peers and many other adults. They seem to have more of an ability to communicate their ideas, desires and frustrations in an appropriate manner.
We are asked that question all the time. I just repeat the same things I always do and remind people that my children participate on many different groups and organizations. I would really enjoy reading this book. I think it would help me be even more confident in my decision to homeschool boys- 4,12 and 17.
Sorry about last sentence I meant to put …. confident in my decision to homeschool my boys– 4,12 and 17.
Oh, you’re going to love this one! I read a shirt on someone at church that said, “Unsocialized homeschooler! Beware!!!” I loved it! I’m going to get a couple for my kids. 😀
I think homeschool children actually learn more about socialization because they aren’t limited to just their peers.
They are learning to interact with all ages!
With all the texting going on in my teens’ lives, this book sounds like a must have for my teens. Communication is so vital that I think even my husband and I would benefit from this book. Thanks for the drawing! cindy
When I’m asked the famous question, “Well, what about socialization?” I say, “Yeah, I know that used to be a problem for us. We had so many opportunities for homeschool co-op classes, art classes, music lessons, etc. Then with all the ministries opportunities like nursing home visits, shut-in visits, making and delivering meals and mission projects combined with all the library clubs, 4-H clubs, Bible Studies, etc. Why we just felt like we were socializing all the time! We have learned to turn down most of things good things and only allow the best into our schedules ~ but, I’ll admit that you do have a point there ~ socialization can really be a problem for homeschoolers if they’re not careful!”
Homeschooling has been a wonderful source of excellent socialization for my 2 boys. As many others commented, they routinely get complimented for their manners and good behavior. As a result of their good behavior and social skills, they are eagerly invited to join our adult friends in fellowship and conversation…
Thomas Jefferson said “Let your friends be few and well chosen, and let them be tested by time”. All children need friends and to learn the skills of socialization. With that said we have to then as parents decide who to socialize our children with. As Homeschooling parents we can decide who to allow to influence our children rather than it happen by random chance like in a school situation. We have a disabled daughter and finding friends is newer an easy task, but we do value those who appreciate the value of a friend who is loyal and kind more so than those who have an easy time aquiring friends.
Many so called socialization skills can be learned within the family or church situation with much better outcomes. I am reminded of Lord of the Flies sometimes when I hear about how many children have to survive in a public school situation. That is not desirable for anyone.
So,we choose to allow the influence into our children lives that will reinforce what we are teaching and know that in time they will have to deal with other influences after they are well grounded.
Joan