Barbara Frank

It’s been a lovely week spent battling strep throat, but I’m back online for a few hours before I stumble back to my sickbed  :0

Right now I’m looking for a few homeschoolers who’d be interested in reviewing my new book, Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings. Please email me at cardamompublishers at sbcglobal dot net by 2/14/12, and I’ll get you a review copy. Thanks!

Hot off the press, it’s Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings, almost  200-pages’ worth of my best homeschooling articles and essays collected especially for new homeschoolers as well as those who are thinking about joining the rapidly growing ranks of homeschooling parents.

This is the first of four eBooks in the Stages of Homeschooling series. The rest are:

Stages of Homeschooling: Enjoying the Journey (Book 2)

Stages of Homeschooling: Letting Go (Book 3)

Stages of Homeschooling: The Empty Nest (Book 4)

Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings is available only through Amazon as a Kindle book. It’s $4.99, or free if you’re an Amazon Prime member.

Don’t have a Kindle? No worries: just download “Kindle for Your PC” (it’s free; step-by-step instructions are right here.)

Want more info? Here you go:

Are you thinking about homeschooling your child, or have you just recently begun homeschooling?

Are you looking for practical information from someone who’s lived the homeschooling life?

Do you need evidence (for yourself or for relatives and friends) of why you shouldn’t send your child to public school?

Are you looking for homeschool encouragement?

If you answered “yes” to even one of those questions, then Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings is for you. Having spent 25 years homeschooling her four children (including one with special needs), writer Barbara Frank wants to encourage and inform those who are just beginning the homeschool journey.

This book is divided into seven sections:

•  “Why Choose Homeschooling?” (Great reasons to homeschool your children)
• “What’s Wrong with Public Schools?” (Why today’s public schools make homeschooling more attractive than ever)
• “Advice for New Homeschoolers” (Homeschool how-to’s and suggestions)
• “Surviving the Early Years” (Teaching your preschoolers)
•  “Becoming a Homeschooling Parent” (Taking on your new role)
• “Handling Doubts, Fears and Hurdles” (Because the prospect of homeschooling can be daunting, especially at the beginning)
• “Nobody Told Me” (Barbara shares some unexpected benefits of homeschooling)

This book will show you that homeschooling is a great choice for your family.

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not, but I’ve lost almost 30 pounds since I stopped homeschooling.

At the time (last June 9, to be specific), I was reacting to a book I had just read called Why We Get Fat. It made so much sense that I decided to give the author’s recommendations a try, if only for a few days. It was easy enough to stick to that I just kept at it all summer as we packed and moved, and all fall as we unpacked and then pitched many of our belongings while keeping and placing only our most needed and wanted possessions. (See “The Downsizing Chronicles.”)

I feel great, which is a good incentive to stick to the plan, as was my recent reading of another book, Wheat Belly, which helped me understand why I feel so good now. But I can’t help wondering if my efforts were helped along by the fact that for the first time in many, many years I have the time to concentrate on an eating plan instead of being too busy with homeschooling to think about it beyond a few minutes of good intentions. Again, maybe it’s pure coincidence, but I have to wonder.

The bonus for me is that I was becoming increasingly incapacitated by lower back pain when I stood or walked. It had been a problem for about ten years. And now it’s completely gone! Where before I had to sit down after walking for five minutes, I can now walk as long and as far as I want. I keep expecting the pain to strike but it never shows up, thank God.

If you’ve struggled with your weight, I think you’ll find these books to be very helpful:

And if you feel like you’re too busy homeschooling to try losing weight, now you know that there’s always hope that you’ll lose weight once you have more time to yourself 

Would you like to read my new book for free? You can, and it’s all because of my husband.

You see, “we” bought an Amazon Kindle quite a while back but he became so attached to it that it’s now his Kindle (he denies this, but he’s always using it!) There are many things he loves about the Kindle, but recently he found out that he can check out a book for free on his Kindle and keep it checked out as long as he wants, and he really liked that idea 

So we’ve decided to allow my newest book, Thriving in the 21^st Century: Preparing Our Children for the New Economic Reality, to be checked out for free on Amazon because the economy isn’t getting any better and we want people to learn how they can prepare their kids to thrive in challenging times (hint: homeschooling is definitely a part of the process!)

Of course, you can read free excerpts of the book here, but if you want to read the whole book, learn how you can borrow it for free here.

Over Christmas I heard from several longtime friends who, like me, are homeschool moms. In fact, I’m the only one who’s “retired” from homeschooling. The rest are still at it with one or more younger children, but they also have adult children that they homeschooled all the way through high school.

I love talking with these women. We share a common history that most people can’t understand, and of course, that’s the main topic of conversation (besides our children, of course).

However, I have to admit that, despite being homeschooled, some of our now-adult children have disappointed us in different ways. (I can’t share too many details here, because I want to respect the privacy of these young adults.) In most cases, they’re doing great making their way in the world, but some have made sinful choices in their personal lives that have upset their parents. In one extreme case, someone chose a lifestyle that nearly killed them; sadly, they’re not out of the woods yet, after more than a year. (It really grieved me to hear about that person).

We moms openly share our disappointments with each other knowing that we can relate to each other so very well. We all had such great expectations, and some of them have been dashed.

I know this is common for parents. But I think it’s especially painful for homeschooling parents because we devoted our daily lives to raising our children, not because we had nothing better to do, but in part because we expected that our efforts would reap benefits for our children. And while the adult children I know have clearly reaped educational benefits from homeschooling, some of their lifestyle choices make it clear that not everything we taught them stuck.

I should point out that some of our expectations were created by the books we read and the speakers we listened to back when we were new homeschoolers. Even now, you’ll find some saying that homeschooling creates strong Christians, good citizens, yada yada. In fact, some people have made lucrative careers out of saying those things. It’s what everyone wants to hear. After all, why should we go through all this work if it’s not going to pay off?

But the fact is that there are no guarantees. And to those who point fingers and say, “Well, if you just do it right, your kids will turn out right,” I say “Beans!” I realize there’s no question that my husband and I made mistakes. All parents do. But when I think of how the Israelites treated God (see Exodus), why did I expect that none of my children would rebel or go in a different direction from the way we pointed them? Clearly each person must make their own way in life (and hopefully toward God). Not even the love of a homeschooling parent can overcome the effects of sin in the world.

But of course we had to try, and those of us specifically called to homeschool our children can’t regret it. (My mom friends and I talked about that a lot over Christmas!) We tried our best, but we’re learning that ultimately, our adult children’s lives are between them and God.

As for the verse in Proverbs that homeschoolers quote so often, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it,” I’ve written before that it’s a principle, not a promise, and also that we can’t ignore that phrase “when he is old.” Homeschooling doesn’t turn out perfectly formed adults at age 18. Each person is a lifelong project of God’s. We homeschooling parents were deeply involved in the first stage, but God will use all sorts of people and events to shape our children over the course of their lives. Hopefully there’s still time for each one of them to come to the personal realization that living God’s way is the only way to live.  (We talked a lot about that, too.)

If newer homeschoolers could have heard our conversations over Christmas, it might have frightened them. That vision of homeschool success is what kept us going during the most difficult times, and I hate to pop that bubble for anyone.

That said, I suspect that even if every homeschooling parent could be convinced that homeschooling is good but doesn’t create perfect adults, they’ll still be disappointed someday if their adult child makes poor choices. It’s what happens when you love someone so much. And since it’s this painful for us, imagine how God, the only perfect parent, feels when He sees us making similar poor choices.

Did you get a new Amazon Kindle or Barnes & Noble Nook for Christmas? If so, you should know that some of our eBooks are on sale until next week:

Kindergarten Stories and Morning Talks with Over 125 Illustrations, the 1890s kindergarten curriculum, is now on sale for $5.99 (reg. $9.99) for Kindle and Nook.

Thriving in the 21^st Century: Preparing Our Children for the New Economic Reality, my latest book, is on sale for $7.99 (reg. $9.99) for Kindle and Nook.

Please note that these sale prices are for the eBook version of these titles, not the print version. But…

… we are having a sale on the print version of The Imperfect Homeschooler’s Guide to Homeschooling: for a limited time, get free shipping and a free 111-page eBook with your purchase. Just use this link to buy the book directly from Cardamom Publishers; your eBook will arrive within 24 hours and we’ll ship your book in 1-2 business days for free!

(Act now—-all three of these sales will be ending shortly.)

So the Duggars are having their 20^th baby, and there is great consternation in the land.

My goodness, with all the sad and scary things happening in the world these days, why on earth are people getting upset about this family? Unlike many much-smaller families these days, they don’t require taxpayer aid. Nor do they farm out their kids to grandparents, as taxpayer-supported parents often do; apparently they not only raise their own kids but they homeschool them. What’s wrong with that?

There’s a poll alongside this article about the Duggars’ baby news that shows 66% of respondents believe that even four kids are too many. To those people I would like to say that three of my four kids work and pay taxes and pay into Social Security, and you should be glad about that. Just think, if the 50 million babies that have been aborted since 1973 would have been allowed to live, they too would be working and paying taxes and supporting you in your old age (and as a bonus, maybe one of them might have even found a cure for cancer or AIDS). Many of our governmental programs, flawed as they may be, were designed for a growing population that supports its elders. Some call that a pyramid scheme, and I agree, but it’s what our society has used for decades, and the loss of so many young people over the past 40 years has damaged the framework of these programs.

I don’t understand why people have such hostility toward large families. Our former neighbors have six kids, and the husband didn’t even tell his coworkers about the last two because he’d already taken so much heat from them for having four kids. How sad is that? Their oldest four kids, by the way, now include a music teacher and an optometrist so I think you could say they contribute to society even beyond financial contributions.

Their mom and I were once at a neighborhood party where I was introduced to the new neighbor across the street, a child psychologist working for the public schools. She and her husband had no children (though they did have a dog they occasionally dressed up and photographed in the front yard, to our amusement). She quickly made it clear that she didn’t especially like children and made a few cracks about “breeders” (large families), so I felt the need to introduce her to my neighbor and then said, “By the way, we both live right across the street from you and between us we have ten children. So you might not want to drink the water around here.” I still chuckle thinking about the look of dismay on her face.

It’s been three months since we moved to our little house, and I’m thrilled to say that we can now get one car in the two-car garage with room to spare. This was no mean trick, as the garage was literally filled to the brim with stuff (rows of stuff stacked as tall as I am) not very long ago. We’ve gone through everything, only letting into the house what we really need or want. That’s been hard, because we liked all of our stuff!

We took some ribbing from family and friends about how much stuff we had, but the fact is that I never had time to completely go through things over the years because I was too busy homeschooling my kids, and I certainly can’t regret that. Also, we kept things that would be needed for our long-held dream of living on acreage, a dream that was apparently not in God’s will, and it wasn’t until we bought this tiny house in town that we knew we could give those things up.

We took countless boxes to Goodwill. We’ve given a lot of toys and homeschooling items to friends with young children. We’ve sold a lot of things on Craig’s List. And there are a few more things that need to go, but we’re working on that.

The hardest items to give up were the books. We love books. And though we do have a Kindle with plenty of books on it, the fact is that there’s nothing like holding a much-loved book in your hands. But there just wasn’t room for all the books we loved.

I’ve sold and given away many books in the past, but there were some I could never let go of, including those I used for my kids when I first designed Life Prep for them. I’m going to be giving those away on this blog soon, because I can’t use them with my youngest.

There is an upside to all of this. As much as I miss the things we gave up, it’s very freeing to live small. The housework doesn’t take nearly as long as it did when we had five bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. The utility bills for this house are lower than the last house (90 years old with 38 windows!) and the small closets here forced us to get rid of a lot of our clothes (which weren’t getting much use anyways because we don’t have jobs and nobody dresses up at church these days.)

So I’m not complaining. And the fact that they’re predicting snow tonight and we won’t have to clean off the car tomorrow because it now fits in the garage makes me extra glad we worked so hard to get rid of all our stuff after the move 

….Like a few more booklets, which I’ll continue to give away free while they last. And then there are some of the books from the reading list of Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers. I don’t need them anymore because my kids are grown, and I hate to give them up because they’re great books, but I just don’t have room for them in our new little home. So stay tuned; I’ll be giving them away soon!

While unpacking from our recent move, I found a box of homeschooling booklets we used to sell for $5 each at homeschool conventions. (They later became part of my book The Imperfect Homeschooler’s Guide to Homeschooling.)

I don’t have room to keep these here, so I’m offering them FREE on a first-come, first-served basis. Just send me a self-addressed business (4 1/8″ X 9 1/2″) envelope stamped with TWO first-class stamps, and I’ll send you a booklet. THIS OFFER IS ONLY GOOD WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. You can request a specific title and if we still have copies left, you’ll get it. Otherwise, it’s potluck.

The booklets are:

115 Organizing Tips for Homeschoolers

Need help getting organized? This 34-page booklet is packed full of proven ideas for:

• Getting your homeschool organized
• Establishing a homeschool filing system
• Running your home
• Living (and homeschooling) with small children
• Keeping up your energy

Learn to handle the many responsibilities and challenges that come with being a homeschool mom.

Covering All the Bases

Do you ever ask yourself:

• How do I know if we’re studying the right subjects at the right times?
• Are we covering all the bases?
• What are the bases anyway?
• Are we using the right materials?
• Are my kids doing OK?

This 30-page booklet includes information about curriculum choices, Scope and Sequence, and achievement testing, as well as tips for designing your own curriculum.

Overcoming Obstacles to Homeschooling

Do you struggle when it comes to homeschooling? Are there obstacles in your way? This 30-page booklet covers topics including:

• Defeating the habits that keep you from working with your children
• Dealing with relatives’ disapproval
• Thriving despite personal or financial difficulties
• Boosting your homeschooling confidence

Discover the personal habits and traits that may be holding you back, and learn how to eliminate them. Don’t let obstacles keep you from homeschooling!

HOW TO ORDER

Just send your SASE (remember, you’ll need two 44-cent stamps on your SASE because these booklets are big) to:

Cardamom Publishers

P.O. Box 743

Janesville, WI 53547

(Feel free to share this offer with your homeschooling friends.)

I just finished watching “Waiting for Superman,” the recent documentary about American education, and I find myself frustrated as I think about what I saw.

Not that it wasn’t a good film: it was. It vividly depicted how adults look out for themselves instead of the children they teach, suggesting they are a major stumbling block for educational change. I don’t disagree with that; watching the film made me very glad I homeschooled my kids.

My frustration lies in two areas: first off, the families depicted in the film have put all their faith in public schools. They try to get their children into better schools; those that fail think their children’s futures are doomed. Those that succeed think all their worries are over and their children will be just fine. That faith in schools is misguided, and the fact that they are so sure of this is just plain frustrating to me because I know from experience that you can work with your own child and help them, whether after school or instead of school. So you do have options.

I think of the inner-city single mom I once met who worked as a police officer on the third shift, came home and slept a few hours and then taught her son during the day. She wouldn’t let him out of their apartment without her because their neighborhood was so dangerous. But she was determined to give him an education and keep him out of gangs. She didn’t look to schools to save her son. She took it upon herself. I wish the parents in “Waiting for Superman” would figure this out instead of relying on the school system to save their children.

My other frustration is with the common attitude displayed in the film (and most everywhere else these days) that the only way out of poverty is a college education. How well I know from my research for my latest book that only about 20% of the job openings predicted by the federal government for the next ten years will require a college degree. Telling every child that a college education is their ticket to success is just plain cruel. That myth is perpetuated in this film, and I hate to see that happening. It’s just not fair to children. Yes, some should go to college because they have an aptitude for higher learning and a desire to excel in a career area that requires a college diploma (doctor, lawyer, etc.) But to tell all children they must go? It’s outdated advice that will lead many of them to become overburdened with college debt and unable to find a decent-paying job to help them pay back what they owe.

So if you want to see a movie that will make it clear why you shouldn’t send your child to school, you’ll like this film. Otherwise, it will probably just make you sad….or frustrated like I am right now.

One more thing: while the makers of this film were more than willing to criticize lousy teachers, they also put good teachers on a pedestal. I get so tired of that attitude. Yes, good teachers are important. But so are good cops, and good doctors, and good cooks. A child’s success in life is aided by the influence of many people, not just teachers, and primarily their parents and others who love them. And even children whose parents are not exactly Parents of the Year can be positively influenced by others who are not their schoolteachers. Besides, it’s not that hard to teach kids to read, write and do math if you haven’t put them somewhere (like school) where their inborn desire to learn has been snuffed out.

Now that I’m done homeschooling my kids, I’m finding it harder to come up with homeschool book and article ideas. But I want to keep encouraging those of you who homeschool your children. So here’s what I’m going to do:

First, I’ve decided to end “The Imperfect Homeschooler” newsletter. It’s been a labor of love for the last seven years, but it’s time for me to move on. That said, I’ll continue to share links to wonderful online educational helps and freebies, as well as the “What Our Kids are Missing Out On Dept.” and an occasional article by me, via weekly updates (the first one just went up on Wednesday) on our new site, “Thriving in the 21^st Century.”

After all, why do you homeschool? To prepare your children to thrive in the future, right?  So you need the best resources and information you can find, and I plan to offer them to you every week.

You can subscribe to my weekly updates by using the RSS link at the bottom of the main page (subscribe-by-email links will be available on the right side of the page shortly). But current subscriptions to “The Imperfect Homeschooler” newsletter will no longer be active, so if you’d like to keep receiving homeschool encouragement and information from me, please subscribe on the new site.

Second, we’ve rounded up hundreds of articles and blog posts I’ve written over the years and we’re assembling many of them into a series of four eBooks collectively entitled “The Stages of Homeschooling”:

The Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings

The Stages of Homeschooling: Enjoying the Journey

The Stages of Homeschooling: Letting Go

The Stages of Homeschooling: The Empty Nest

These upcoming eBooks will be available at Amazon.com and BN.com (Barnes & Noble). I think you’ll like them, and I hope you’ll learn a lot from them, too. Keep an eye on this blog for news of their arrival.

Finally, for those who are looking for personalized encouragement, I’m now doing homeschool consulting via phone (U.S. only) and email. Click here to learn more.

I want to thank all of you who have taken time over the years to write to me and share your thoughts and concerns. It was great to hear from you! I hope I’ve demonstrated to you that it’s been a joy to live the homeschooling life. I wish you all the best as you teach your children.

God bless you,

Barbara Frank

Over our previous moves, we got rid of a lot of stuff. What remained could be grouped into three categories:

Our Favorite Homeschooling Books

Our Favorite Toys

Our Favorite Mementos

Now, since we finished homeschooling our 18-year-old in June, you might be wondering why I kept so many homeschooling books. Well, for the same reason I wanted to keep the toys: for the grandchildren I may get someday.

Yep, I know it’s silly, but I just couldn’t let go of those things. Never mind that I don’t know if my grandchildren will be homeschooled. How can you get rid of Saxon 54? Or the Miller family series of Amish stories? Or the Holling Clancy Holling books?

Did I mention that books are heavy and take up lots of boxes?

Then there are the toys. For instance, every time I looked at the Little Tykes kitchen set, I remembered my eldest two children (then ages 3 and 2) excitedly watching the UPS man as he delivered the enormous box that contained their new kitchen set, which I had paid for with Huggies points. (Do they still have those?) How could I get rid of that?

As for the mementos, I find that I lose my memories unless I find items to trigger them. So it’s hard for me to give up the items because I’ll lose the memories. That explains why I kept little fuzzy sleepers and my kids’ favorite dolls and my son’s Sesame Street metal car collection (dang, those things are heavy!)

But we no longer have room for most of these treasures. And when I think about it, why should they sit in boxes and plastic containers when other children (children who exist right this moment, as opposed to my someday-grandchildren) could be getting use out of them?

That’s why we’ve been giving things away, and selling big things on Craig’s List, and just plain clearing most of it out. It is not easy. But I think it’s the right thing to do.

(Full disclosure: I didn’t get rid of all our best homeschooling books. I’m keeping the very best on our shelves, and that includes the Saxon 54, the Millers and the HCH books. But I’ve decided I’m not keeping books in boxes anymore. So I’m keeping what I can fit on the bookshelves, and the rest have to go!)

By the way, which of your homeschooling books are your favorites, the ones you’ll never let go of?

Our new home has just over 1,000 square feet upstairs plus a basement. Our last rental home had over 2,000 square feet upstairs plus a basement. You see the problem here.

I keep thinking it’s like trying to fit a size 12 foot in a size 9 shoe. Despite all the purging we did over the last two moves, we have to get rid of more stuff in order to fit four people and their stuff in this house.

I decided not to let anything in the house that isn’t going to stay here. So you can imagine what the garage looks like.

Someone suggested that had I spent more time over the last 30 years getting rid of stuff instead of keeping it, I would be better off.

I thought about that for a while. At first, it sounded right. But then I realized that while I did go through things at times, I was never forced to do a major purge because we lived in a big house that allowed me to store things instead of getting rid of them. Also (and most importantly), I was so busy raising and homeschooling four kids that I never had time to do a major purge.

And that’s ok, because I spent the time I could have spent going through stuff doing more important things, like explaining algebra, playing games, and reading to my kids. Now that they’re grown, I have more time to go through everything. So while going through all this stuff now isn’t a lot of fun, I’m glad I had the time with my kids when they were home.

So if you have lots of kids and lots of clutter, take heart. Someday you can take care of the clutter. But the time to take care of the kids is now.

Just saw the latest edition of Home Educator’s Family Times, which has gone digital. One of my articles is on page 24: check it out!

Also, having survived several failed closings on a house that turned out to have a bad well, we are now buying a different house and will be moving shortly. During the transition, I probably won’t have time to blog. But moving isn’t the only big change I have coming up, so stay tuned for updates. And enjoy your summer!