The Downsizing Chronicles: Where is Home?

October 10th, 2011 § 0


We lived in a lovely, large house for many years. But when we took vacations at a small Door County condo, we were always surprised at how quickly we got used to being there and having it feel like home. Even so, we were always happy to get back to our house and would echo Dorothy in saying, “There’s no place like home!”

Since we had to sell our longtime home four years ago, we’ve lived in three more houses: two rentals and now the little house we just bought. And one of the interesting things we’ve learned on this journey is that each place felt like home rather quickly. Considering we moved out of state, this really surprised me, because each time we had to get used to a new town, new library and stores, new church, etc.

But what I finally realized is that home is wherever our family is gathered together. I recall a Christmas soon after we left Illinois. Four of us were living in Door County, our eldest was in Chicago and our son and daughter-in-law were in Missouri. Rather than have them trek up north, we rented a hotel suite in Illinois so all of us could gather there for Christmas. Never before had we exchanged Christmas gifts in a hotel! Yet it felt like home because all of us were there together.

Many people are being forced to move in this economy. Some are downsizing like we’ve had to do. In fact, someone very close to me has gone from owning two lovely homes and a tract of land in an island paradise to living in a tiny rental townhouse. It’s a painful process, no doubt about it. But once you discover that being together is the most important thing, you can get past your material losses and realize that the real gift is being with those you love.

Back in the 80s, when country decorating was all the rage, there were lots of folksy wall plaques emblazoned with geese or quilt blocks along with the saying “Home is Where the Heart Is.” Now those plaques look kind of dated and cheesy, but the saying is true: if you’re surrounded by your family, you’re home, no matter where you are.

The Downsizing Chronicles: I Keep Finding Things I Forgot I Had…..

October 7th, 2011 § 0

….Like a few more booklets, which I’ll continue to give away free while they last. And then there are some of the books from the reading list of Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers. I don’t need them anymore because my kids are grown, and I hate to give them up because they’re great books, but I just don’t have room for them in our new little home. So stay tuned; I’ll be giving them away soon!

The Thrill of the Chute

October 6th, 2011 § 2

One of the exciting things about our new house is that we have a laundry chute.

Maybe that doesn’t sound so exciting to you, but this is my first-ever laundry chute and I love not having to lug everything down to the basement laundry room.

I’m not the only one who thinks it’s cool. Since Josh got over his initial fear of it (I think he was blown away at first by the idea that things could fall down it), laundry day hasn’t been the same.

He likes to summon me to the base of the chute so I can watch the entire process. Then he drops a week’s worth of collected dirty clothes down, one piece at a time, while shouting things like “Look out below!” and “Here it comes!” So it takes a while until everything makes it down the chute.

But he gets such joy out of doing this that I just wait patiently in the basement until all his laundry arrives. That’s the thing about Josh: he can take the simplest thing and turn it into fun. No wonder 99% of adults with Down syndrome say they’re happy. It’s their gift, and in that respect they’re far ahead of many other adults who don’t have the spare chromosome. They can find joy in the simplest pleasures; that’s why they’re such a joy to have around  :)

Homeschool How-to’s: Free While They Last

September 23rd, 2011 § 11

While unpacking from our recent move, I found a box of homeschooling booklets we used to sell for $5 each at homeschool conventions. (They later became part of my book The Imperfect Homeschooler’s Guide to Homeschooling.)

I don’t have room to keep these here, so I’m offering them FREE on a first-come, first-served basis. Just send me a self-addressed business (4 1/8″ X 9 1/2″) envelope stamped with TWO first-class stamps, and I’ll send you a booklet. THIS OFFER IS ONLY GOOD WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. You can request a specific title and if we still have copies left, you’ll get it. Otherwise, it’s potluck. :)

The booklets are:

115 Organizing Tips for Homeschoolers

Need help getting organized? This 34-page booklet is packed full of proven ideas for:

  • Getting your homeschool organized
  • Establishing a homeschool filing system
  • Running your home
  • Living (and homeschooling) with small children
  • Keeping up your energy

Learn to handle the many responsibilities and challenges that come with being a homeschool mom.

Covering All the Bases

Do you ever ask yourself:

  • How do I know if we’re studying the right subjects at the right times?
  • Are we covering all the bases?
  • What are the bases anyway?
  • Are we using the right materials?
  • Are my kids doing OK?

This 30-page booklet includes information about curriculum choices, Scope and Sequence, and achievement testing, as well as tips for designing your own curriculum.

Overcoming Obstacles to Homeschooling

Do you struggle when it comes to homeschooling? Are there obstacles in your way? This 30-page booklet covers topics including:

  • Defeating the habits that keep you from working with your children
  • Dealing with relatives’ disapproval
  • Thriving despite personal or financial difficulties
  • Boosting your homeschooling confidence

Discover the personal habits and traits that may be holding you back, and learn how to eliminate them. Don’t let obstacles keep you from homeschooling!

HOW TO ORDER

Just send your SASE (remember, you’ll need two 44-cent stamps on your SASE because these booklets are big) to:

Cardamom Publishers

P.O. Box 743

Janesville, WI 53547

(Feel free to share this offer with your homeschooling friends.)

“Waiting for Superman“

September 19th, 2011 § 8

I just finished watching “Waiting for Superman,” the recent documentary about American education, and I find myself frustrated as I think about what I saw.

Not that it wasn’t a good film: it was. It vividly depicted how adults look out for themselves instead of the children they teach, suggesting they are a major stumbling block for educational change. I don’t disagree with that; watching the film made me very glad I homeschooled my kids.

My frustration lies in two areas: first off, the families depicted in the film have put all their faith in public schools. They try to get their children into better schools; those that fail think their children’s futures are doomed. Those that succeed think all their worries are over and their children will be just fine. That faith in schools is misguided, and the fact that they are so sure of this is just plain frustrating to me because I know from experience that you can work with your own child and help them, whether after school or instead of school. So you do have options.

I think of the inner-city single mom I once met who worked as a police officer on the third shift, came home and slept a few hours and then taught her son during the day. She wouldn’t let him out of their apartment without her because their neighborhood was so dangerous. But she was determined to give him an education and keep him out of gangs. She didn’t look to schools to save her son. She took it upon herself. I wish the parents in “Waiting for Superman” would figure this out instead of relying on the school system to save their children.

My other frustration is with the common attitude displayed in the film (and most everywhere else these days) that the only way out of poverty is a college education. How well I know from my research for my latest book that only about 20% of the job openings predicted by the federal government for the next ten years will require a college degree. Telling every child that a college education is their ticket to success is just plain cruel. That myth is perpetuated in this film, and I hate to see that happening. It’s just not fair to children. Yes, some should go to college because they have an aptitude for higher learning and a desire to excel in a career area that requires a college diploma (doctor, lawyer, etc.) But to tell all children they must go? It’s outdated advice that will lead many of them to become overburdened with college debt and unable to find a decent-paying job to help them pay back what they owe.

So if you want to see a movie that will make it clear why you shouldn’t send your child to school, you’ll like this film. Otherwise, it will probably just make you sad….or frustrated like I am right now.

One more thing: while the makers of this film were more than willing to criticize lousy teachers, they also put good teachers on a pedestal. I get so tired of that attitude. Yes, good teachers are important. But so are good cops, and good doctors, and good cooks. A child’s success in life is aided by the influence of many people, not just teachers, and primarily their parents and others who love them. And even children whose parents are not exactly Parents of the Year can be positively influenced by others who are not their schoolteachers. Besides, it’s not that hard to teach kids to read, write and do math if you haven’t put them somewhere (like school) where their inborn desire to learn has been snuffed out.

Our New Site, New eBooks and No More Newsletter

September 12th, 2011 § 0

Now that I’m done homeschooling my kids, I’m finding it harder to come up with homeschool book and article ideas. But I want to keep encouraging those of you who homeschool your children. So here’s what I’m going to do:

First, I’ve decided to end “The Imperfect Homeschooler” newsletter. It’s been a labor of love for the last seven years, but it’s time for me to move on. That said, I’ll continue to share links to wonderful online educational helps and freebies, as well as the “What Our Kids are Missing Out On Dept.” and an occasional article by me, via weekly updates (the first one just went up on Wednesday) on our new site, “Thriving in the 21st Century.”

After all, why do you homeschool? To prepare your children to thrive in the future, right?  So you need the best resources and information you can find, and I plan to offer them to you every week.

You can subscribe to my weekly updates by using the RSS link at the bottom of the main page (subscribe-by-email links will be available on the right side of the page shortly). But current subscriptions to “The Imperfect Homeschooler” newsletter will no longer be active, so if you’d like to keep receiving homeschool encouragement and information from me, please subscribe on the new site.

Second, we’ve rounded up hundreds of articles and blog posts I’ve written over the years and we’re assembling many of them into a series of four eBooks collectively entitled “The Stages of Homeschooling”:

The Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings

The Stages of Homeschooling: Enjoying the Journey

The Stages of Homeschooling: Letting Go

The Stages of Homeschooling: The Empty Nest

These upcoming eBooks will be available at Amazon.com and BN.com (Barnes & Noble). I think you’ll like them, and I hope you’ll learn a lot from them, too. Keep an eye on this blog for news of their arrival.

Finally, for those who are looking for personalized encouragement, I’m now doing homeschool consulting via phone (U.S. only) and email. Click here to learn more.

I want to thank all of you who have taken time over the years to write to me and share your thoughts and concerns. It was great to hear from you! I hope I’ve demonstrated to you that it’s been a joy to live the homeschooling life. I wish you all the best as you teach your children.

God bless you,

Barbara Frank

The Downsizing Chronicles: Redecorating

September 8th, 2011 § 7

A friend visited our new home today and had a lot of suggestions for how we could update it. I appreciate her input but I probably won’t take most of it to heart.

One of the things I decided over the course of our past four years as renters is that I spent far too much time thinking about making changes to our previous homes and then, eventually, making those changes. Yes, it’s fun, but it sure is time-consuming, and I just don’t want to spend that kind of time on a house anymore. I’ve decided I will appreciate the house as it is, and not spend too much time obsessing over changes. Yes, there will be changes, I’m sure, but I’m just not willing to put a lot of time into thinking, planning and executing them.

I didn’t make this decision on purpose. I think it’s a byproduct of living in a rental house after 25 years as a homeowner and enjoying the freedom of looking at ugly carpeting and thinking, “If this was my house, I’d replace that carpet, but since it’s not, I don’t care,” and then going on to do whatever it is I wanted to do for fun because I finally had the time. There’s a certain freedom in renting that I really enjoyed, and I guess subconsciously I’m trying to retain some of that freedom even though we just became homeowners again.

Another thought: we completely remodeled our first house, and bought our second house new and then completely decorated it. Maybe I just got burned out on all that decorating and now I don’t care as much? Who knows? What I do know is that I appreciate our latest house despite its dated wallpaper borders and various-shades-of-80s-beige walls, and that is very liberating.

How about you? Are you at this stage yet? Or would you agree with my friend that the box light fixture in the kitchen should be replaced with can lighting, and the basement walls should be painted a color other than white?  :)

The Downsizing Chronicles: Living Small

September 7th, 2011 § 2

The first time our daughter drove past the home we just bought, she said, “It’s so small!” I responded, “That’s what you’re going to hear me say every month when I open the electric bill.”  :)

That was one of our goals. We spent so much money over the years heating and cooling our homes, and we were sick of it. Money is much tighter now than it used to be (at least for us), so who wants to give so much to the utility companies? Not us.

There are other advantages to having a small home. There are fewer rooms to clean. The property taxes are lower than most. (Heck, the price of the home was lower than most.) And living small forced us to give up a lot of furniture, so we kept only our favorite pieces and are enjoying them more.

That said, it’s a bit cozier around here than in our previous homes. Sometimes we bump into each other in the kitchen or the hall. We’re all sharing the same shower (not at the same time, of course!) And since I’m a cook-from-scratch person most of the time, the kitchen cabinets are packed tight with pans, small appliances and other must-have-to-make-dinner items.

It’s only been a month, but so far we like it. And on the days I get frustrated with the lack of space, I figure I’ll just pull out the electric bills and re-examine them. That should help!

The Downsizing Chronicles: Getting Rid of the Good Stuff

September 6th, 2011 § 3

Over our previous moves, we got rid of a lot of stuff. What remained could be grouped into three categories:

Our Favorite Homeschooling Books

Our Favorite Toys

Our Favorite Mementos

Now, since we finished homeschooling our 18-year-old in June, you might be wondering why I kept so many homeschooling books. Well, for the same reason I wanted to keep the toys: for the grandchildren I may get someday.

Yep, I know it’s silly, but I just couldn’t let go of those things. Never mind that I don’t know if my grandchildren will be homeschooled. How can you get rid of Saxon 54? Or the Miller family series of Amish stories? Or the Holling Clancy Holling books?

Did I mention that books are heavy and take up lots of boxes?

Then there are the toys. For instance, every time I looked at the Little Tykes kitchen set, I remembered my eldest two children (then ages 3 and 2) excitedly watching the UPS man as he delivered the enormous box that contained their new kitchen set, which I had paid for with Huggies points. (Do they still have those?) How could I get rid of that?

As for the mementos, I find that I lose my memories unless I find items to trigger them. So it’s hard for me to give up the items because I’ll lose the memories. That explains why I kept little fuzzy sleepers and my kids’ favorite dolls and my son’s Sesame Street metal car collection (dang, those things are heavy!)

But we no longer have room for most of these treasures. And when I think about it, why should they sit in boxes and plastic containers when other children (children who exist right this moment, as opposed to my someday-grandchildren) could be getting use out of them?

That’s why we’ve been giving things away, and selling big things on Craig’s List, and just plain clearing most of it out. It is not easy. But I think it’s the right thing to do.

(Full disclosure: I didn’t get rid of all our best homeschooling books. I’m keeping the very best on our shelves, and that includes the Saxon 54, the Millers and the HCH books. But I’ve decided I’m not keeping books in boxes anymore. So I’m keeping what I can fit on the bookshelves, and the rest have to go!)

By the way, which of your homeschooling books are your favorites, the ones you’ll never let go of?

The Downsizing Chronicles: Pitching What Won’t Fit

September 5th, 2011 § 4

Our new home has just over 1,000 square feet upstairs plus a basement. Our last rental home had over 2,000 square feet upstairs plus a basement. You see the problem here.

I keep thinking it’s like trying to fit a size 12 foot in a size 9 shoe. Despite all the purging we did over the last two moves, we have to get rid of more stuff in order to fit four people and their stuff in this house.

I decided not to let anything in the house that isn’t going to stay here. So you can imagine what the garage looks like.

Someone suggested that had I spent more time over the last 30 years getting rid of stuff instead of keeping it, I would be better off.

I thought about that for a while. At first, it sounded right. But then I realized that while I did go through things at times, I was never forced to do a major purge because we lived in a big house that allowed me to store things instead of getting rid of them. Also (and most importantly), I was so busy raising and homeschooling four kids that I never had time to do a major purge.

And that’s ok, because I spent the time I could have spent going through stuff doing more important things, like explaining algebra, playing games, and reading to my kids. Now that they’re grown, I have more time to go through everything. So while going through all this stuff now isn’t a lot of fun, I’m glad I had the time with my kids when they were home.

So if you have lots of kids and lots of clutter, take heart. Someday you can take care of the clutter. But the time to take care of the kids is now.

Back at the Keyboard

September 2nd, 2011 § 2

Wow, a month away from my blog….never thought I could do it, but it was actually rather freeing. Still, I’ve missed blogging and am happy to be back.

So as I mentioned last month, we’ve moved, AGAIN. That makes three times in four years (for anyone keeping score), and if I say so myself, this was our most disorganized move yet, which is kind of depressing because we have a lot less stuff now than we did four years ago.

Part of the reason this latest move has been so crazy is that we moved into a much smaller house. We’ve always known we would need to downsize, and I thought I was ready for it. I love reading about the tiny houses that are so hip right now; just the thought of simplifying and streamlining the prodigious amount of crap stuff that a homeschooling family of six can accumulate made me happy and excited for the future. But the reality was that we had to slog through a lot of stuff in the heat and humidity (our leases kept going August to August) and it’s really gotten old.

That said, it’s worth it, because we feel lighter with every box we take to the Goodwill store. And (even at my age), I’m learning all sorts of good lessons through this experience. I’ll be sharing a few in future posts; let’s call them “The Downsizing Chronicles.”

As for those announcements I said were upcoming, it’s almost time. Stay tuned.

Current Events

August 2nd, 2011 § 2

Just saw the latest edition of Home Educator’s Family Times, which has gone digital. One of my articles is on page 24: check it out!

Also, having survived several failed closings on a house that turned out to have a bad well, we are now buying a different house and will be moving shortly. During the transition, I probably won’t have time to blog. But moving isn’t the only big change I have coming up, so stay tuned for updates. And enjoy your summer!  :)

Dear IL and WI Homeschoolers….

July 29th, 2011 § 0

….you’re invited to the 10th anniversary of the Johnsburg (IL) Homeschool Resource Center’s Open House and Used Curriculum Flea Market this Saturday, 7/30/11.

I’ll be on the panel of homeschool speakers who will answer your questions in an afternoon session (the flea market is held in the morning). Johnsburg in in the far NW suburbs of Chicago, and just a little ways south of the Cheddar Curtain (IL/WI border).

Learn more HERE. Hope to see you there!

How Parents Can Help Their Young Men Learn to Work for Themselves

July 25th, 2011 § 0

In response to my post last week “Young Men Need to Work,” I received an email from a reader that made so much sense that I just had to share it with you (with her permission). She and her husband are raising their sons to know how to earn money without having a regular paycheck. Here’s what they’re doing this summer:

We are teaching our sons to think outside the box, much like the men in your family did.

One way is to help the elderly with their errands for a small fee. Today he is helping his dad paint a rental house that a senior citizen from our church inherited from his parents. The man can’t afford a professional painter yet the work still needs doing. My husband had the day off and took our 14 y/o with him. They will earn enough money for a small profit and just enough to buy a storage unit full of stuff from someone who defaulted on the bill. Then my husband will help our son post the items on eBay. With that money our son will purchase curriculum for this school year. Hopefully he will make more than when he started to be able to buy himself a Razor scooter.

We have to teach our kids to think outside the box as the box gets smaller and smaller.

This is a great example of parenting wisdom. These parents are teaching their sons to be of service to others while creating income for themselves. And I love her imagery of the box getting smaller. That’s how it’s going to be for a while. We’ve got to teach our children to live in the real world.

Many thanks to the mom who shared this with me.

Young Men Need to Work

July 21st, 2011 § 2

A recent “Hi and Lois” comic strip shows Hi, the dad, dropping off his recyclables, pumping his own gas, using the self-checkout at the grocery store, stopping by an ATM machine and renting a movie using an automated machine. Later his teenage son comes home looking frazzled and announces “I cannot find a summer job! Where are all the jobs?!”

That’s a good question. Point taken.

As a five-year-old during the Great Depression, my dad sold gum on passenger trains to make money for his family. As a teen he hauled sacks of grain in a mill; he’s been a hard worker all his life and even though he’s pushing 80, he still repairs and restores cars and helps members of his family (just this week, he helped two different family members who were moving).

When my husband was a teen, he mowed his church’s acreage for free and cleaned buses for pay. By age 17, he had an engineering job that would become his occupation for many years. He’s always been a hard worker, has run two businesses and continues to work hard to take care of our family.

Ten years ago, my then-16-year-old son spent his summer working in a grocery store. It was a job he’d had for over a year; he would continue to work in several stores in that grocery chain throughout college. Today he has a good job for which he travels frequently and, because he’s in management, always puts in many hours.

You see the pattern here. Young men need to work. It helps them develop the work ethic they’ll need to support a family. But today, unemployment is very high among teens. In some areas it’s over 25%. Even those who do work are finding it hard to get more than 15 or 20 hours of work per week. We hope that this situation will change eventually, but what of our young men in the meantime? They’re at a crucial point in their development; if they can’t find work, it will be far too easy for them to sink into a stupor of gaming and partying as so many already do; others with more energy and nowhere to use it constructively may be easily lured into criminal activity out of boredom.

It’s crucial that we help our young men find work of any kind, paying or not. We can talk to our friends and neighbors to see who needs help around their homes and yards, or better yet, their businesses. Perhaps churches can mobilize their youth to work around the church grounds or in the community.

This is a nationwide problem; if we don’t get a handle on it, we’re going to have a generation of messed-up young men. That is not a comforting thought.

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