Barbara Frank

A recent “Hi and Lois” comic strip shows Hi, the dad, dropping off his recyclables, pumping his own gas, using the self-checkout at the grocery store, stopping by an ATM machine and renting a movie using an automated machine. Later his teenage son comes home looking frazzled and announces “I cannot find a summer job! Where are all the jobs?!”

That’s a good question. Point taken.

As a five-year-old during the Great Depression, my dad sold gum on passenger trains to make money for his family. As a teen he hauled sacks of grain in a mill; he’s been a hard worker all his life and even though he’s pushing 80, he still repairs and restores cars and helps members of his family (just this week, he helped two different family members who were moving).

When my husband was a teen, he mowed his church’s acreage for free and cleaned buses for pay. By age 17, he had an engineering job that would become his occupation for many years. He’s always been a hard worker, has run two businesses and continues to work hard to take care of our family.

Ten years ago, my then-16-year-old son spent his summer working in a grocery store. It was a job he’d had for over a year; he would continue to work in several stores in that grocery chain throughout college. Today he has a good job for which he travels frequently and, because he’s in management, always puts in many hours.

You see the pattern here. Young men need to work. It helps them develop the work ethic they’ll need to support a family. But today, unemployment is very high among teens. In some areas it’s over 25%. Even those who do work are finding it hard to get more than 15 or 20 hours of work per week. We hope that this situation will change eventually, but what of our young men in the meantime? They’re at a crucial point in their development; if they can’t find work, it will be far too easy for them to sink into a stupor of gaming and partying as so many already do; others with more energy and nowhere to use it constructively may be easily lured into criminal activity out of boredom.

It’s crucial that we help our young men find work of any kind, paying or not. We can talk to our friends and neighbors to see who needs help around their homes and yards, or better yet, their businesses. Perhaps churches can mobilize their youth to work around the church grounds or in the community.

This is a nationwide problem; if we don’t get a handle on it, we’re going to have a generation of messed-up young men. That is not a comforting thought.

One of the most popular articles on my website is “Homeschooling to Prevent Rebellion.” I think I’ve received more email about that article than any other I’ve written.

Let’s face it: many of us choose to homeschool our children partly (mostly?) because we want them to turn out “right.” The craziness of the public school environment makes it obvious to us that sending our children there is a dangerous decision. But if we teach them at home, we can educate them more efficiently using the materials of our choice (as opposed to the materials chosen by our local school board) while also teaching them how to control their behavior so that they become happy, productive adults, at the very least. Ideally, if we have a faith tradition, we want to share that faith with our children, too.

This is all well and good, but sometimes the responsibility we take on for homeschooling our children, which can seem huge and all-encompassing, leads us to believe that our children’s proper development is completely up to us. That would work if our children were puppets. But they’re individuals given free will by God. This complicates things.

To make matters worse, some speakers and writers in the Christian homeschool community insist that the sole purpose for homeschooling is to raise Christians. They may be well-intentioned, but what they’re doing is loading down parents with a burden they weren’t intended to carry. Because while it’s our job to “raise up our children in the way they should go,” we don’t have the power to make them Christians, or even to make them good.

I really like how Tim Sanford put it in his book, Losing Control & Liking It:

“…embrace the reality that whatever you do as a parent, your teenager still has that gift of free will. You could do everything right and your teenager could still choose stupid. That part is not your fault, even if it breaks your heart.”

He mentions the father of the prodigal son and the pain he went through, and then adds:

“What is your job?

To validate and nurture.

What’s not your job?

To make your teenager turn out right.

Learn to be content with these realities, and your life as a parent will be a lot easier.”

I’m aware of a lot of bewildered homeschooling parents who are just now facing the difficulties of having a rebellious teen. I feel for them because I’ve been there. It’s a lonely place. And the pain doesn’t necessarily go away once the child hits 18. In fact, for some homeschooled kids, the outward rebellion doesn’t reach full strength until then.

There’s no easy way through this. If you crack down hard on your offspring, you’ll likely push them further away. Yet you can’t give up on your principles, because they’re part of raising your children “in the way they should go.” What you can do is pray for yourself and your child. And never forget that God loves your children even more than you do.

I heard on the radio this morning that 40% of the unemployed have been out of work for over a year. I don’t know how they come up with these statistics, but a quick mental survey of the people in my family and social circle makes me think that 40% is close to accurate or maybe even a little on the low side.

Am I the only person who thinks these people could take advantage of their downtime by homeschooling their kids? Given the state of the schools today, it seems like a win-win situation: the unemployed person finds something worthwhile to do with their days, and their child or teen actually learns a few things by working with their parent. Many of these parents aren’t going to find a job anytime soon. Given the changes in our economy, homeschooling might even turn out to be a long-term solution for both parent and child.

After all, homeschooling isn’t that hard, and teaching a child can be done much more efficiently at home than in a classroom of 30 students (62 if you live in Detroit.) Considering that many high schools students now text their way through class, it’s pretty easy to learn more at home than at school these days.

With all the great educational tools available in public libraries and on the Internet (for instance, there’s a nice free math and science education just waiting for young people right here), what can the schools do for kids today that we parents can’t? (Please don’t tell me that football games and proms are essential, because an entire generation of homeschooled adults have shown that they aren’t!)

Some people believe that the public schools are already going down, as Gary North has stated in his excellent article on the subject. The quality of education continues its slide into the abyss, and funding is likely to be cut, thanks to the financial problems most states and the Feds are struggling with.

I think that dying schools and unemployed parents could be blessings in disguise for American families. Unemployed parents who decide to take advantage of their newly found free time to facilitate their children’s learning can develop closer relationships with them while giving them a better, more individualized education that they can get in school. At the same time, they’ll combat the demoralizing feelings that come with being unemployed because they’ll be spending their days doing something that’s important and personally rewarding. They may even find that they feel better about themselves than they did when they were employed. Win-win, indeed!

So, homeschooling parent, think your teens are learning as much at home as they would learn in high school?

We know from our own childhood experience that the school day is full of interruptions and inconsistencies. Whenever you put 30 kids in a room, you create an environment that’s not exactly conducive to concentration.

But something’s changed since we were young, something that makes it even harder to learn: cell phones. Where I live, the high schools banned cell phones until 2007, when they allowed students to carry them as long as they were turned off and put away during class.

Guess what? It was too hard to enforce that rule, so now kids text throughout class. Teachers are worried that students could be texting test answers to each other. Perhaps, but at the very least, I think we can assume they aren’t paying attention to the teacher if they’re busy texting:

“Cell phone use continues to grow. Texting is more common, and many students are adept at sending silent text messages from their pockets. They don’t even look at the keypad.”

One teacher said, “Every kid has one, and they’re used covertly, regularly.”

I understand that today’s kids are good at multitasking, but I doubt that they can absorb much information while they’re busy corresponding with other people via texting.

Homeschooling parents needn’t worry whether their kids are learning as much as their publicly schooled friends. I’d say they’re way ahead of them if their home life affords them regular uninterrupted periods of time for reading, writing and doing math. Seriously, if kids can text during class, public high school has become a joke.

Do you worry that your kids aren’t good enough writers?  Are you concerned that by the time they get to college, they won’t have the skills to write papers that will help them pass their courses? If so, don’t worry.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t teach your kids to write well. It’s an important skill to have. But maybe you shouldn’t worry so much, because according to this writer, the competition isn’t too tough. In fact, he says that unless they have a lot of money to pay term paper writers, the competition can barely put a sentence together.

This man writes term papers for a living. College students buy them from him and claim them as their own. He says it’s big business, and that many, many students pass their college classes this way.  How depressing is that?

By the way, he claims that college students in one specific course of study provide him with more work opportunities than any other:

I, who have no name, no opinions, and no style, have written so many papers at this point, including legal briefs, military-strategy assessments, poems, lab reports, and, yes, even papers on academic integrity, that it’s hard to determine which course of study is most infested with cheating. But I’d say education is the worst. I’ve written papers for students in elementary-education programs, special-education majors, and ESL-training courses. I’ve written lesson plans for aspiring high-school teachers, and I’ve synthesized reports from notes that customers have taken during classroom observations. I’ve written essays for those studying to become school administrators, and I’ve completed theses for those on course to become principals. In the enormous conspiracy that is student cheating, the frontline intelligence community is infiltrated by double agents. (Future educators of America, I know who you are.)

Remember that the next time you hear someone say that only parents with teaching degrees should be allowed to homeschool…..

Most of us don’t understand the extent of our government’s indebtedness, but we do know that we’re saddling our kids and grandchildren with a ton of debt. No one’s happy about that, but what can we do?

Here’s an interesting interactive graphic that will help you and your teen get a handle on exactly what can be done to pay it off. It’ll get you both talking about where cuts should be made and/or taxes should be increased. Each decision you make reduces the debt….but also has repercussions.

Try it and see what I mean. I actually got the whole thing paid off fairly quickly. But I have a feeling some of my decisions wouldn’t be very politically popular. Oh, well, I’m not running for office. But I’d vote for anyone who would make the same cuts I did 

P.S. The time your teen spends on this should count towards a civics or government unit.

Are you intimidated by the thought of homeschooling your kids all the way through high school? I was.

Do you worry that you’re not up to the challenge of homeschooling your teens? I did.

Do you wonder what it’s like, living with teenagers every day? I was pretty curious about that myself.

I never thought I’d homeschool my children all the way through high school. I wasn’t even sure I could do it. But I did, and I’m sure glad I did. But it wasn’t always easy, and there were times when I needed some encouragement.

You can have that encouragement, and get a little peek into the world of homeschooling teenagers in the process, with “Homeschooling Your Teenagers.” It’s an eBook with eleven articles* from the archives of “The Imperfect Homeschooler.” These articles are no longer available online….but you can have them for yourself now in Amazon Kindle eBook format for only 99 cents (reg. $7.95) by clicking here.

*Plus, there’s a list of links to online resources that will help you homeschool your teen for free!

There’s an increasing amount of debate going on these days about college and whether it’s worth it anymore, especially in an economy where people with degrees are among those hit hardest by unemployment.

This article’s author suggests that our government is responsible for pushing kids to college, including many who are not college material to begin with. It’s sad to think of so many young people graduating with a diploma that doesn’t help them find a job, but does saddle them with debt that they must repay.

The author offers a solution to that problem, though…..a certain type of job that will help new grads develop a very important skill: how to sell products and themselves. Makes a lot of sense! In the meantime, we should be encouraging this skill in our kids before they leave home.

Woohoo! My newest book is out 

There’s nothing like the feel of a fresh new book, right fellow book lovers? And I’ve got to tell you that seeing my name on it and knowing that it’s the result of a couple of years’ worth of work is a good feeling!

Hot off the press: Women of the Old Testament: 14 In-Depth Bible Studies for Teens with Mother-Daughter Discussion Starters, a book I wrote six years ago for our daughter Mary, who was 13 at the time. » Read the rest of this entry «

These “15 Money Rules Kids Should Learn” are not exactly the ones that we used with our kids, but that’s ok. The rules are up to the parents; the important thing is that parents teach their kids how to handle money responsibly.

Our country’s financial situation makes it clear that there are an awful lot of people running around with NO idea of how to handle money. Unfortunately, many of them hold public office. And not only is their lack of financial sense hurting us, but it’s going to hurt our kids and grandchildren, because they’re going to be left holding an enormous amount of national debt.

What can we do? We can start teaching our own kids to handle money from the time they’re little. It’s not something you do in an afternoon. It takes many years. As I write in my upcoming book, Thriving in the 21^st Century,

Those who are truly prepared for this new economy will be mostly unencumbered by debt, and therefore free to make changes in their careers without being forced to find another job immediately because of all the payments they have to make each month. They’ll have bank accounts to live off of when they need to go back to school for additional training in order to become more marketable. They’ll be able to take time off to start a new business, or to keep a current business afloat by not taking a paycheck for a while. Financial flexibility is of prime importance in the global economy.

Even now, having money in the bank and minimal expenses is what separates those with choices from those tied to a job and living in constant fear of layoffs. By raising money-smart kids, we give them the tools to handle both prosperity and financial difficulty; in the rapidly changing global economy, there are plenty of both.

How do you raise financially literate kids? You start when they’re young, so that by the time they’re teens, they can understand what you’re talking about when you teach them about budgeting, mortgages and other topics they’ll need to know as adults. You can find projects that teach these subjects and more in Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers, the parent-friendly curriculum for teaching your teens how to become morally and financially responsible adults.

This week I’m giving away a copy of Life Prep. To enter, go here; the deadline for this giveway is Friday at midnight. Good luck!

For the past month, I’ve been giving away materials recommended in my book Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers. Now let’s give away a copy of the book itself, which is a curriculum for teaching teens values and skills for the adult world they’re about to enter.

But first, a question: what do you think is the biggest blessing that comes from homeschooling a teen? Leave your answer as a comment on this post by Friday, April 9 Sunday, April 11 at midnight, and you’ll be automatically entered into a drawing for a free copy of Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers.

Every so often there’s a common thread in the questions I receive from homeschool moms.

That thread might be about getting teens to follow through on assignments, or how to handle friends and relatives opposed to homeschooling, or (in the most recent bunch) how to juggle homeschooling, homemaking and preschoolers without losing your mind.

Maybe the popularity of this latest topic stems from the fact that it’s February and everyone’s been cooped up indoors for months and they’re getting tired of it. But juggling the kids, the house and homeschooling can be stressful; how well I know that from my own experience.

» Read the rest of this entry «

In some ways, our teenage son with Down syndrome is very similar to his siblings when they were teens. He likes his privacy, talks about wanting a girlfriend and a car, and is very picky about what he wears. He also spends a lot of time primping in the mirror, getting his hair just right.

On the other hand, he can watch “X-Men 3″ one day and “Winnie-the-Pooh and the Honey Tree” the next, and appear to enjoy them equally. It’s the same with games. He can beat his brother and his sister’s boyfriend (both in their mid-20s) at video games, yet he insists on playing Candyland and Chutes and Ladders with me, which we’ve played since he was little.

So we’re in the middle of working on his lessons this morning, and he gets mad at me because I’m making him pronounce a word correctly (he has major speech issues), and like a typical teen he loses his temper and bellows, “Stop it, Mom, or I’m not going to play Candyland with you today!”

LOL 

(The rest of the story: he didn’t mean it. We had to play twice after he finished his school. Sigh. If I had a nickel for every time we played Candyland over the past 13 or 14 years……)

Teens usually learn more from real life learning projects than from projects out of books. A bonus is that the teen doing the assignment sometimes also helps out the family by performing a useful service.

Here’s a project you can assign your teen that will be helpful to you. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but for the past year or so, at the end of each week the FDIC closes one or more U.S. banks. These closings aren’t widely publicized, but they’re happening. No one wants to find out their bank is one of the failed banks, especially once it’s too late to do anything about it.

Sometimes the banks are merged with other banks and the transition is seamless. But if that doesn’t happen, the bank is closed by the FDIC and you may have to wait to get your money back. The FDIC insurance fund is slowly being used up (although the more cynical among us figure the government will just print up a fresh batch of dollars once they run out.) The bottom line is that no one wants their money in a failed bank.

Fortunately, there are free online services that allow you to look up your bank and make sure it’s not headed for a Friday night closing. These services look at the financial situation of each bank and rate it based on performance and prognosis. We’ve been watching our banks for a few years, and actually dumped a couple when their ratings went down. One went from 4 stars (pretty good) to 1 star (poor) in less than two years. In this economic climate, it makes sense to protect your hard-earned dollars by keeping track of your bank’s safety rating.

Your teen can look up the family bank to see what kind of shape it’s in. Some free services come with reports that explain exactly what’s going on in a bank, and where problems may be looming. Most teens won’t want to read these reports, preferring just to look at the wrap-up. Those who do want to read the particulars may be candidates for careers in accounting or investment banking. In either case, reading the reports and looking up unfamiliar phrases would be a good learning exercise for teens and parents.

The two services we use are Bankrate.com and Bauer. Bankrate offers free reports, while Bauer offers a brief wrap-up for free; detailed reports will cost you. But all you really need is the wrap-up.

Since many banks are in trouble because they made too many imprudent loans, your teen should also take a look at your bank’s troubled asset ratio. The Investigative Reporting Workshop (American University School of Communication) offers a handy tool that lets you look up any bank and see its current troubled asset ratio, how it compares to the national median, and its ratio history for the past two years.

Using these three tools will help your teen understand a bit more about banks while helping you decide whether your money is safe in your current bank. Your teen can look up this information for Grandma and Grandpa to make sure their banks are good ones, too.

Buy at AllPosters.com

Remember being in school the month before Christmas? How much actual studying got done?

Not much, as I recall. Between the kids’ excitement about Christmas being just around the corner, and the teachers’ need to get kids ready for the pageants and programs they were expected to participate in, little serious study was accomplished. (Not much was accomplished the rest of the year, but that’s another post!) Teachers often resorted to filmstrips (some of you may remember them) and worksheets related to Christmas. Not educational really, but it was the only way they could cope with wound-up kids.

I thought that being homeschoolers meant we could escape all the fuss and commotion and spend our time studying, with the added bonus of having time to incorporate various Advent activities into our daily plan.

Well…..it worked like that at first. Back when the kids were little and I was in full control of their schedules (ah, the good old days), we kept it pretty simple. Other than the annual Sunday School Christmas Program, with its practice sessions held at church, I was able to keep things on an even keel and we stuck to our schedule right up until the week before Christmas.

But we kept having kids, which meant more kids to shop for and wrap presents for. And our aging parents handed off responsibility for the Christmas celebrations to us, which meant big family gatherings for which we had to prepare (planning, grocery shopping, decorating….you know the drill).

As our kids got older, they started really getting into the festivities, which meant they were pretty distractible. It’s kind of hard to teach someone how to divide decimals when they’re dreaming of their wish list and you’re trying to decide between ham and turkey for Christmas dinner. Neither of you is really paying attention.

We soldiered on, but I sure wish I’d had the Internet back then. There are so many great free resources available now. I think if I’d had the Internet, I would have just used Advent and Christmas resources like the ones listed below to keep the kids busy until Christmas, figuring there’s always January for serious study.

I’m only homeschooling one now, and he’s still a bit fuzzy about time, so he doesn’t know exactly when Christmas will be here. But once we bring out the Christmas tree and decorations, he’ll be distracted by Christmas once again. I’d better get more toner for my printer so I can give him some of these printables to keep him busy!

For Kids

Countdown to Christmas Advent Calendar

Audrey’s Christmas Page (online storybooks, plays, coloring pages)

Christmas Ideas for Children’s Ministry (lessons, worksheets, craft ideas, songs)

Christmas Coloring Pages

More Christmas Learning Activities

Christmas Symbols Printables

Twelve Days of Christmas Printables

Nativity Printables

Christmas Gift Tag Printables

Christmas Notebooking Sheets and Coloring Sheets

Christmas Crafts for All Ages

Especially For Older Kids and Teens

Christmas Quizzes from the Bible

Free 4-week Advent Bible Study

Christmas Crafts for Teens

Christmas Crossword Puzzles

More Christmas Crossword Puzzles