Barbara Frank

Today dd17 and I worked together on the Tax Project found in Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers.

It’s a weird feeling, teaching my child out of a book that I wrote. But I wrote it eight years ago, and that’s long enough that I sometimes forget the author’s identity for a second 

We sometimes get questions from people asking how old a teen should be to do Life Prep. We respond that it depends on the teen, their goals and which project in the book is being considered.

For instance, a 14-year-old boy will find the Car Project (link goes to free download of this project) a lot more interesting than the Credit Card project, just because most boys of that age are eagerly looking forward to having their own cars.

In the case of the Tax Project, we tell people to wait until their teen has a job that generates a paycheck. There’s nothing like receiving a check for less than you earned (because of taxes, Medicare, and Social Security) to get your attention. It’s amazing how that event can arouse a teen’s curiosity about taxes (primarily why they’re so high!)

Since dd17 has been earning paychecks since last summer, this was a great time to do the Tax Project. Add the fact that it’s time to determine if she needs to file a tax return for 2008, and she was more than eager to do the project. There’s nothing like a receptive student, is there?

It all went well, and only took a few hours. However, I learned that one part of the Tax Project has changed since I wrote it. In the book, I referred to a little pie chart inside the IRS’ 1040 booklet that showed exactly where our tax dollars go. That pie chart is gone, and I could not find it on the IRS web site.

However, I did find a simplified version of it in an IRS Power Point pdf (see page 5). It may be simplified, but it’s as depressing as ever. Dd and I had a good discussion about that, too. We homeschoolers are so fortunate to have the time to teach our teens about these things before they leave home.

One of the things homeschooled kids miss out on is being criticized by teachers for their personal beliefs.

I don’t think it’s bad to miss out on such experiences, but it does get me thinking about how to prepare (or whether it’s possible to prepare) our college-bound homeschooled offspring for that kind of situation, which is becoming increasingly common.  

Not that it never happened in the past, of course. I recall being graded down in Biology 100 back at the good old U of I for refusing to accept the theory of evolution as a valid one. And as recently as last fall, my teenage daughter took some flak from her community college professor (in a graphic arts class, no less) for commenting that she liked Sarah Palin.

But it appears that the teachers are becoming more vehement and profane:

Jonathan Lopez, who is working on his associate of arts degree at Los Angeles City College, quoted a dictionary definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman and cited several Bible verses during a public speaking class in late November, his suit says. His professor, John Matteson, interrupted, called Lopez a “fascist bastard” and refused to let him finish his address, according to the suit.

Nice, huh? We don’t have to worry about Jonathan, who has since sued the college district with the help of the Alliance Defense Fund. But what about our kids? John Matteson isn’t the only idiot professor out there. Can we prepare our kids for this kind of attack, and if so, how?

I think we should warn them that this happens, and discuss ways they can deal with it. In the case of my daughter, we discussed the inappropriateness of her teacher’s remarks (which I won’t go into here), especially since her dad and I were paying $400 for graphic design instruction, not misguided knee-jerk political philosophy. We also talked about what she wished she would have said, and what she’ll do when (not if) it happens again. We talked about knowing what you believe and why you believe it. And I told her I was proud of her for politely standing up for herself when verbally attacked by an authority figure.

Did I leave anything out? What else can we do?

Once in a while, I stumble on one of those articles written for homeschoolers suggesting that there’s really no such thing as a teen.

The author usually goes on to say that the concept of a teen is a relatively recent development stemming from our modern culture, and that once upon a time children were able to transition into adulthood with little if any difficulty. 

My reaction to this? Beans!

We’re on our third and fourth teenagers, and the journey of raising them from birth to adulthood has been nothing if not fascinating. All four differed tremendously in temperament, and yet all four definitely showed signs of becoming teens at the usual time.

Did we raise them all the same? No. It’s not possible. We’re not even the same parents today that we were ten or fifteen years ago, and we don’t do things the same way we used to. I like to think we’ve learned at least a couple of things in the process, and that they’re reflected in our parenting skills.

So we have four very different children, all homeschooled all the way through, and all from the same two parents. Yet each one exhibited signs of difficulty as they made that transition to adulthood.

There were the usual physical signs, of course—the whole puberty issue—and that’s normal. But it brings with it many emotional issues that are also normal, so when people write that there doesn’t need to be any turmoil during the teen years, I have to laugh. Hormones are dramatically changing, the body’s changes cause emotional responses…..how can there not be turmoil? As a woman of a certain age (ahem), I’m more aware than ever of how much damage hormones and physical changes can do to your peace of mind.

Then there’s the idea that it’s not normal for teens to rebel. I’m sorry, but it’s normal for humans of any age to rebel. It’s the result of sin in the world. God’s children, the Israelites, rebelled against Him repeatedly, as noted in the Old Testament of the Bible. If even God’s children rebel against Him, why would we be exempt from experiencing the rebellion of our own children?

I’m not saying that rebellion is good, but I do think writers who suggest teen rebellion is not natural are being a bit Pollyanna-ish, to say the least. Those who go one step farther by suggesting that homeschooling will prevent rebellion are naïve at best.

So what is the homeschooling parent to do when her once-adorable offspring reaches the age of 10 or 12 or 14 (it varies) and becomes an emotional powder keg? I offer some tips in my free e-course, “Ten Tips for Coping with Temperamental Teens,” but my best advice is to avoid panic. No, you’re not a bad parent, and your child is not a bad seed. Some emotional upheaval is normal when a child begins that transition to adulthood. Just avoid over-reaction to your preteen or teen’s occasional odd behavior, and pray as hard as needed. My own experience has been that no matter what they were like as teens, they eventually become adults of whom you can be proud….even though they gave you some gray hair along the way.

Just stumbled onto this thread over at Lucianne.com. The comments are quite interesting.

Two of my favorites:

A BA in sociology (Where you study poor people for four years then become one.)

Senior year is a waste of time. Like Newt Gingrich pointed out, it’s just a government subsidized social dating program.

What do you think?

(Note: comment threads at L.com disappear after 48 hours, so don’t wait too long to check this out.)

One of the joys of homeschooling is watching your kids take the initiative in learning new things. Here are a few fun and interesting sites where homeschooled teens can learn something new:

Wordspy.com keeps track of all the latest phrases entering our collective vocabularies. Those who love words will appreciate new words and phrases such as brickor mortis (slow housing market), adorkable (adorably dorky) and e-fence (the online sales of stolen items), along with others already in regular use such as bridezilla and McMansion.

The ultimate how-to site, Instructables is the place to go to learn to make anything from realistic, reusable latex wounds (just in time for Halloween—ugh!) to a solar thermal water heater for less than $5 (great science project!)

For those who are into the works of Shakespeare, the Shakespeare Insultor will keep you humble.