Becoming a Parent

In the city we’re living in right now, there’s a fantastic library. As a result, I bring home far too many books. I can’t possibly read them all, so I do a lot of skimming.

Recently I skimmed Craig Ferguson’s book, American on Purpose. It’s been three years since we had access to network tv, but when we did, I liked to watch Ferguson’s monologue on his late-night talk show before going to bed.

The book chronicles the Scottish comedian’s rise to fame, a rocky road that includes a starkly realistic description of the alcohol addiction that nearly ruined his life. Ferguson’s story is not for the squeamish or easily offended, as he can be quite blunt and uses a fair amount of profanity (sometimes the modern writer’s crutch, but in this case it’s probably just what he does).

I came away from the book thinking I would like the man if I met him. He’s proud to have become an American citizen; his patriotism is evident. A humble man with a good heart, Ferguson’s description of his parents, family and even his exes is generous and loving.

I was especially taken by what he wrote about the birth of his first child:

Anyone who has been present at a birth knows how weirdly adrenal the whole event is. As a first-time father, I found myself terrified in a whole new way, not afraid for myself but for my child, who until that moment had been an abstraction. All of a sudden he was real and the world had changed beyond recognition. Now there was someone I would unthinkingly lay down my life for, and I felt a massive, uncontrollable, powerful, feral love.

As I cut the umbilical cord, Milo started to cry and shiver. One of the nurses, a dour Russian woman who had bossed Sascha around a little too much for my liking, said, not unkindly, “Oh, baby, life is hard.”

“Shut up,” I snapped. She looked at me with astonishment.

“He just got here. He doesn’t need that **** yet.”

She looked at me like I was insane, but I didn’t give a toss. I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to a supporting player in the movie of someone else’s.

….It was past four a.m. when the mumsy nurse finally placed him in a clear plastic crib, swaddled in his blankie and wearing a tiny white wool cap. When she left us alone, Milo’s eyes were wide open and as deep and dark and blue as the sea on the Scottish coast.

For the first time it was just the two of us. He stared at me for a few minutes and I started back at him. My American son.

After a few moments he let out a long tired sigh, like the whole thing had been such an ordeal.

“I know,” I told him, “but don’t worry. I got your back.”

I particularly like this line: “I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to a supporting player in the movie of someone else’s.” How true that is! For most people, becoming a parent for the first time means losing the self-absorption of youth to the overwhelming love and concern for your child.

Many celebrities’ books are actually written by ghostwriters, but I doubt that this book was. Ferguson is an experienced writer whose credits (beyond writing for his show) include a novel and several screenplays. We’ve watched one of his movies, “Saving Grace,” a couple of times as it’s offbeat and funny. I recommend both of these:

A Great Advent/Christmas Idea for Young Children

Yesterday was the first Sunday in Advent. It was so nice to see the Advent candle burning brightly on the altar at church. With all the busy-ness of getting ready for and hosting Thanksgiving dinner, I’d almost forgotten that Advent was about to begin.

A few years back I read a clever mom’s blog post describing how she helped her young children celebrate Christmas.* It would be a great way to mark the beginning of Advent.

This mom set up part of the family’s nativity set under the Christmas tree early in December. All that was missing was Mary, Joseph, their donkey and baby Jesus. She then put Mary, Joseph and the donkey at the other end of the house. Each day her little children moved those three figures a foot or two closer towards the Christmas tree, marking the young couple’s sojourn to Bethlehem.

On Christmas Eve, Mary, Joseph and the donkey “arrived” at the manger under the tree, and that’s when the family placed baby Jesus in the manger. What a wonderful way to help the children prepare their hearts for Christ’s coming! I wish I’d thought of doing this when my children were young.

* If you know the blog/blogger I’m talking about, please send me the link so I can give credit where it’s due—thanks!

Your Kids’ College Competition Can’t Write

Do you worry that your kids aren’t good enough writers?  Are you concerned that by the time they get to college, they won’t have the skills to write papers that will help them pass their courses? If so, don’t worry.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t teach your kids to write well. It’s an important skill to have. But maybe you shouldn’t worry so much, because according to this writer, the competition isn’t too tough. In fact, he says that unless they have a lot of money to pay term paper writers, the competition can barely put a sentence together.

This man writes term papers for a living. College students buy them from him and claim them as their own. He says it’s big business, and that many, many students pass their college classes this way.  How depressing is that?

By the way, he claims that college students in one specific course of study provide him with more work opportunities than any other:

I, who have no name, no opinions, and no style, have written so many papers at this point, including legal briefs, military-strategy assessments, poems, lab reports, and, yes, even papers on academic integrity, that it’s hard to determine which course of study is most infested with cheating. But I’d say education is the worst. I’ve written papers for students in elementary-education programs, special-education majors, and ESL-training courses. I’ve written lesson plans for aspiring high-school teachers, and I’ve synthesized reports from notes that customers have taken during classroom observations. I’ve written essays for those studying to become school administrators, and I’ve completed theses for those on course to become principals. In the enormous conspiracy that is student cheating, the frontline intelligence community is infiltrated by double agents. (Future educators of America, I know who you are.)

Remember that the next time you hear someone say that only parents with teaching degrees should be allowed to homeschool…..

A Thought-Provoking Project for Parents and Teens

Most of us don’t understand the extent of our government’s indebtedness, but we do know that we’re saddling our kids and grandchildren with a ton of debt. No one’s happy about that, but what can we do?

Here’s an interesting interactive graphic that will help you and your teen get a handle on exactly what can be done to pay it off. It’ll get you both talking about where cuts should be made and/or taxes should be increased. Each decision you make reduces the debt….but also has repercussions.

Try it and see what I mean. I actually got the whole thing paid off fairly quickly. But I have a feeling some of my decisions wouldn’t be very politically popular. Oh, well, I’m not running for office. But I’d vote for anyone who would make the same cuts I did  🙂

P.S. The time your teen spends on this should count towards a civics or government unit.

A Simple Homeschool Thanksgiving

Hard to believe Thanksgiving is next week already! Here’s how I used to do Thanksgiving when I was homeschooling all four children:

If you’re one of those lucky people who are having Thanksgiving at their house this year, I’ve got some advice for you. Don’t do school that week!

I realize this isn’t an issue for you unschoolers out there. But there are others who are emotionally attached to our lesson plans, whether we have written them out to the tiniest detail, or just have a few goals we like to keep in mind. Ever the optimists, we think we can get plenty of school done on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, leaving Wednesday night to get our dinner cooked in advance. That’s called dreaming.

Here’s a Thanksgiving plan for the homeschool mom that I developed after many years of running myself ragged trying to do school Thanksgiving week while planning, shopping for and cooking a Thanksgiving dinner. It’s the result of years of fine-tuning, careful consideration and a few mommy meltdowns. These days, my goal is to keep things as simple as possible. Continue reading