A Homeschool Mom’s Paradise

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Picture a quiet room where you stand surrounded by shelves full of homeschooling books and curriculum. In the middle of the room there is a table flanked by comfortable chairs, where you can sit and flip through everything you’ve ever wanted to use to with your children: history books, math curriculum and that great new writing program you read about recently.

There is such a place, and it’s called the Homeschool Mom’s Paradise. (Ok, I’m kidding, but that is what it feels like.) It’s actually called the Homeschool Resource Center. Unlike homeschool convention exhibit halls, where most homeschoolers spend hours on their feet studying homeschool products, you don’t have to pay to enter. The Homeschool Resource Center is located in the midst of a public library. All you need is a current library card to borrow anything you want from the center for six weeks.

Located in the Johnsburg (Illinois) Public Library, the Homeschool Resource Center is the brainchild of homeschool mom Kathy Wentz. In 2001, Kathy established the center with the help of librarian Maria Zawacki and a $55,000 grant from the Illinois State Library.

Kathy spent countless hours choosing books, magazines, curriculum, games and equipment to lend to area homeschoolers. She added telescopes, microscopes, test tubes and other equipment for the scientifically minded. Math manipulatives and foreign language tapes were also purchased.

It didn’t take very long to use up $55,000. Since then, Kathy has raised money to fund new items for the center by organizing used curriculum sales. The proceeds allow Kathy to pick and choose among the many new products constantly being developed for the homeschool market; she knows savvy moms will be looking for them.

Kathy also spends one evening each week at the Homeschool Resource Center, offering free consulting to homeschoolers looking for help or advice. The donation of her time in this way is part of her ongoing commitment to the center, which she says is something her faith has led her to do. She has been gratified to see the enthusiastic response of not just local homeschoolers, but also those who come from some distance and make a day out of their visit.

If you are excited by the thought of having a homeschool resource center in your own community, perhaps you may feel led to establish something similar. Kathy says that while informing other homeschoolers about this concept is good, what’s most important is informing librarians. They need to know that this concept works, and that it is needed by their patrons. Most homeschoolers are frequent visitors to public libraries, and will use such a valuable resource regularly.

In order to promote the idea on a national and even international level, Kathy has written articles published in library journals that have garnered positive responses from librarians. So if you approach your own library about starting a homeschool resource center, you may find that your librarian has already heard of the concept and has been waiting for a patron to ask for it.

For more information about Johnsburg’s Homeschool Resource Center visit the Johnsburg Public Library’s website (where you can access the Homeschool Resource Center’s resource list). Kathy Wentz may be contacted via email at kwentz8992 (at) comcast (dot) net.

Making Time to be Alone

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We all need time alone. We need time to think, to dream, and to create….without relentless interruptions from our children.

Finding time to be alone is especially difficult for those of us who homeschool, because we’re with our children so much. But we aren’t superhuman, no matter what outsiders may think. We need to be refreshed. The hard part is figuring out how to do that.

It sure gets easier once your children are older. I recently found that one of the quickest ways to find myself alone is to put on my DVD, Josh Groban’s “Live at the Greek” (or, as my husband calls it, “Live at the Geek.”) You should see my loved ones scatter when it comes on! Another surefire road to solitude is my collection of Doris Day movies. The opening credits of “That Touch of Mink” send my kids flying out of the room as if it were on fire.

Still, it wasn’t always so easy to find myself alone. There was a time when I was outnumbered 4 to 1, and I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without someone banging on the door with some real or imagined emergency. Back then, I truly believed I would never be alone again. If only I had bought those Doris Day videos sooner…..

My point here is that you must carve out some regular time alone for yourself to prevent homeschool burnout, a very real occurrence that you’ll want to avoid. Some homeschool moms feel guilty for wanting time to themselves. Don’t! Even Jesus took time to be alone and pray….it’s important to regroup when you need to.

Working moms have time alone while commuting and on their lunch breaks. Most stay-at-home moms experience time alone once they send their children off to school, which these days can be as early as age two. But those of us who homeschool are never alone, it seems, especially during the early years of raising our families. (I love sleep, but I actually enjoyed waking up for middle-of-the-night feedings of my third and fourth babies because the house was quiet and no one was talking to me!)

Believe it or not, there will come a time when you can be alone for minutes, even hours, at a time, on a regular basis! But if that’s far down the road for you, don’t wait that long. Try to schedule some time for yourself now, when you really need it. Snag your husband, a close friend or Grandma to keep track of the kids, and set a date for your time alone.

You can start small, by going for a walk alone. Doing the grocery shopping is much easier and quicker if you do it by yourself. Find a Ladies’ Bible study that keeps its meetings brief. (I joined my church’s hour-long evening class when my youngest was six months old—what a blessing! I ended up attending that class every week for 14 years.)

As your family becomes accustomed to Mom’s little breaks, stay out a little longer. Take an exercise class, or a crafts class. It’s a nice break to be the student instead of the teacher. Find another mom and go out for coffee and chat. The time will fly!

Whatever you do, try to enjoy yourself. Don’t feel guilty if there were tears when you left the house. They may cry, but the kids need a break from you, too. Besides, they’ll appreciate you more when you come back.

(Excerpted from Stages of Homeschooling (Book 1): Beginnings, available HERE.)

Take Control of Your Family’s Schedule

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The doctor found Jodi Smith sitting in his office, sobbing quietly into a tissue.

“Why, Mrs. Smith,” he exclaimed. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, everything!” She began crying louder.

“Now, now…” the doctor soothed. “Tell me what’s made you so unhappy.”

” I’m just so tired all the time, and I feel so overwhelmed. Each day is harder than the last.”

The doctor’s look of concern eased a bit.

“Are you trying to do too many things? Many women today have that problem. Tell me, what’s a typical day like for you?”

“Well, I have three children, and I homeschool them. Every day we do school from 8 to noon, and then we grab a quick bite and head out to Spanish class, and then we go to…”

And Jodi spent the next five minutes describing her weekly schedule of soccer, co-op, music lessons, language classes and field trips. By the time she was finished, she was crying even harder, and the doctor looked somewhat distressed.

“Mrs. Smith, I’m afraid you’re on the verge of a nervous collapse. You need some rest, that’s for sure. You can’t keep on this way. I recommend that you put your children in school and get a job with far less stress than you’re used to….say, as a 911 operator or an air traffic controller.”

The good doctor has a point. Once we become slaves to an overscheduled homeschooling life, we’re living in a high-stress atmosphere. There really is no opportunity for us to rest.

Believe it or not, this wasn’t really a problem when I began homeschooling. For one thing, there weren’t nearly as many opportunities for outside activities. In some states, homeschooling parents were being put in jail, and so we tended to stay at home a lot during school hours.

When we did venture out, it was often for field trips to plays and museums, places where people expect to see schoolchildren in the middle of a weekday.

As homeschooling became more accepted, parents began to feel more comfortable about going out and about during the day, and so we had weekly park days, where the kids played freely and the moms sat with their babies and ate and talked. It was all very low-key and relaxing. Occasionally, we’d gather at someone’s house for a visit, and once again, it was the kids’ job to find something to do while we relaxed and had our own “socialization” time.

There were few if any outside classes or lessons other than organized sports or swim lessons at the Y. And yet our kids did not grow up to be slackers. Almost every child my children knew back then turned out to be a responsible hard-working adult, at least that I’m aware of.

I look back very fondly on those days, because everyone was having such a good time. It made for a very nice lifestyle, one that I’ve tried to replicate with my younger kids. That’s not easy, because there are so many “enrichment” options today that weren’t available back then. But I’ve lived in that low-stress atmosphere so long that I’m not willing to give it up.

I just wish I could convey to some of the moms behind me on the homeschooling road that it can still be done. I get email from them about how stressed out they are, and how much trouble they’re having keeping up with everything, and I feel sorry for them. Some give up and send their kids to school. They can’t keep up the pace, or they’re tired of the responsibility of keeping their kids occupied 24/7.

We do our kids a disservice by keeping them busy all the time. They need to learn to keep themselves occupied. They’re completely capable of learning and playing freely, but they have to be given the opportunity. And when they are, we’re given a break, and that’s what moms like us need. Driving kids around all the time means you get very little free time for yourself, much less time to cook or pay the bills or touch base with extended family. Those things on your to-do list get pushed aside because there’s no time after the kids’ activities. Those neglected responsibilities weigh on your mind, adding to your stress level.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You’re in control of the family schedule. Unless you thrive on a very booked-up agenda, one with enough stress to wear out an air traffic controller at LAX, consider paring down the number of things your family is involved in, so that all of you can have a more relaxed way of life.

(Excerpted from Stages of Homeschooling (Book 2): Enjoying the Journey, available HERE.)

A Response to the Usual Back-to-School Drivel

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A recent issue of the Sunday newspaper supplement USA Weekend offered the usual back-to-school article; this year, the author devised a 7-point plan for parents sending their children back to their local school.

Here are her seven points, followed by my take on them  🙂

1)      “Make contact with teachers by Week 3.” Personally, I’d want to know the adult(s) my child is spending each day with before I put her on the bus. But that’s just me. As the author says, “The goal is to open up the lines of communication between the most influential adults in your child’s life.” Again, we homeschoolers prefer that the most influential adults in our children’s lives are us. We’re funny that way.

2)      “Check that your child is reading at grade level.” This would be perfectly logical if all children learned at the same rate. But they don’t. I read at three; a friend’s homeschooled daughter didn’t start reading until 11. Both of us could read massive novels at age 13. So let’s not try to force kids into a mold; they’ll read when they’re ready.

3)      “Understand the importance of downtime.” We already do, which is why we homeschool! The author quotes an article from Pediatrics magazine stating that in 2009, 30% of 8- and 9-year-olds got little or no recess in school. That’s sad, but the remaining 70% probably don’t get much more downtime because today’s kids are fully booked outside of school. Downtime is sorely needed by ALL kids.

4)      “Analyze test scores.” Because test scores tell you how smart your child is, right? No! Some very bright kids don’t test well, and some average kids can score quite well because they can read the test-writer’s intentions. Schools (and our government) place way too much importance on test scores.

5)      “Stay on track for college.” Here we go again. Not all kids should go to college. Not all kids need to go to college. And given the number of college grads now underemployed and unemployed, college is not a guarantee of a promising job future. Determine if your child is college material and go from there.

6)      “Don’t trash-talk about math.” Well, duh. You never trash-talk things you want your child to enjoy and excel in. But why math in particular? Be open to all of your child’s interests and give him plenty of opportunities to explore the world around him.

7)      “Be part of the learning community.” The author recommends going to school meetings, being a school volunteer and going to the school play. Beans! My parents never showed up at school except for occasional parent-teacher nights and my graduations, yet I still made the honor roll. Let’s be honest: being part of the “learning community” is just a way for the school to butt into and usurp your family life. Replace the phrase ‘learning community” with “family.” Be there for your child. Read to her, answer her questions, take her to museums, zoos and anywhere else that piques her curiosity. Put your energy into your child instead of the PTA. The time you put into actually being a parent is priceless.