Category Archives: Homeschool

Sharing 20 years of homeschool experience

Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings

Posted on by
2


Hot off the press, it’s Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings, almost  200-pages’ worth of my best homeschooling articles and essays collected especially for new homeschoolers as well as those who are thinking about joining the rapidly growing ranks of homeschooling parents.

This is the first of four eBooks in the Stages of Homeschooling series. The rest are:

Stages of Homeschooling: Enjoying the Journey (Book 2)

Stages of Homeschooling: Letting Go (Book 3)

Stages of Homeschooling: The Empty Nest (Book 4)

Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings is available only through Amazon as a Kindle book. It’s $4.99, or free if you’re an Amazon Prime member.

Don’t have a Kindle? No worries: just download “Kindle for Your PC” (it’s free; step-by-step instructions are right here.)

Want more info? Here you go:

Are you thinking about homeschooling your child, or have you just recently begun homeschooling?

Are you looking for practical information from someone who’s lived the homeschooling life?

Do you need evidence (for yourself or for relatives and friends) of why you shouldn’t send your child to public school?

Are you looking for homeschool encouragement?

If you answered “yes” to even one of those questions, then Stages of Homeschooling: Beginnings is for you. Having spent 25 years homeschooling her four children (including one with special needs), writer Barbara Frank wants to encourage and inform those who are just beginning the homeschool journey.

This book is divided into seven sections:

  •  “Why Choose Homeschooling?” (Great reasons to homeschool your children)
  • “What’s Wrong with Public Schools?” (Why today’s public schools make homeschooling more attractive than ever)
  • “Advice for New Homeschoolers” (Homeschool how-to’s and suggestions)
  • “Surviving the Early Years” (Teaching your preschoolers)
  •  “Becoming a Homeschooling Parent” (Taking on your new role)
  • “Handling Doubts, Fears and Hurdles” (Because the prospect of homeschooling can be daunting, especially at the beginning)
  • “Nobody Told Me” (Barbara shares some unexpected benefits of homeschooling)

This book will show you that homeschooling is a great choice for your family.

Homeschooling and Weight Loss…or Not

Posted on by
6

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not, but I’ve lost almost 30 pounds since I stopped homeschooling.

At the time (last June 9, to be specific), I was reacting to a book I had just read called Why We Get Fat. It made so much sense that I decided to give the author’s recommendations a try, if only for a few days. It was easy enough to stick to that I just kept at it all summer as we packed and moved, and all fall as we unpacked and then pitched many of our belongings while keeping and placing only our most needed and wanted possessions. (See “The Downsizing Chronicles.”)

I feel great, which is a good incentive to stick to the plan, as was my recent reading of another book, Wheat Belly, which helped me understand why I feel so good now. But I can’t help wondering if my efforts were helped along by the fact that for the first time in many, many years I have the time to concentrate on an eating plan instead of being too busy with homeschooling to think about it beyond a few minutes of good intentions. Again, maybe it’s pure coincidence, but I have to wonder.

The bonus for me is that I was becoming increasingly incapacitated by lower back pain when I stood or walked. It had been a problem for about ten years. And now it’s completely gone! Where before I had to sit down after walking for five minutes, I can now walk as long and as far as I want. I keep expecting the pain to strike but it never shows up, thank God.

If you’ve struggled with your weight, I think you’ll find these books to be very helpful:

And if you feel like you’re too busy homeschooling to try losing weight, now you know that there’s always hope that you’ll lose weight once you have more time to yourself  🙂

“Check Out” My Book on Amazon for Free

Posted on by
Reply

Would you like to read my new book for free? You can, and it’s all because of my husband.

You see, “we” bought an Amazon Kindle quite a while back but he became so attached to it that it’s now his Kindle (he denies this, but he’s always using it!) There are many things he loves about the Kindle, but recently he found out that he can check out a book for free on his Kindle and keep it checked out as long as he wants, and he really liked that idea  🙂

So we’ve decided to allow my newest book, Thriving in the 21st Century: Preparing Our Children for the New Economic Reality, to be checked out for free on Amazon because the economy isn’t getting any better and we want people to learn how they can prepare their kids to thrive in challenging times (hint: homeschooling is definitely a part of the process!)

Of course, you can read free excerpts of the book here, but if you want to read the whole book, learn how you can borrow it for free here.

Great (Homeschool) Expectations

Posted on by
8

Over Christmas I heard from several longtime friends who, like me, are homeschool moms. In fact, I’m the only one who’s “retired” from homeschooling. The rest are still at it with one or more younger children, but they also have adult children that they homeschooled all the way through high school.

I love talking with these women. We share a common history that most people can’t understand, and of course, that’s the main topic of conversation (besides our children, of course).

However, I have to admit that, despite being homeschooled, some of our now-adult children have disappointed us in different ways. (I can’t share too many details here, because I want to respect the privacy of these young adults.) In most cases, they’re doing great making their way in the world, but some have made sinful choices in their personal lives that have upset their parents. In one extreme case, someone chose a lifestyle that nearly killed them; sadly, they’re not out of the woods yet, after more than a year. (It really grieved me to hear about that person).

We moms openly share our disappointments with each other knowing that we can relate to each other so very well. We all had such great expectations, and some of them have been dashed.

I know this is common for parents. But I think it’s especially painful for homeschooling parents because we devoted our daily lives to raising our children, not because we had nothing better to do, but in part because we expected that our efforts would reap benefits for our children. And while the adult children I know have clearly reaped educational benefits from homeschooling, some of their lifestyle choices make it clear that not everything we taught them stuck.

I should point out that some of our expectations were created by the books we read and the speakers we listened to back when we were new homeschoolers. Even now, you’ll find some saying that homeschooling creates strong Christians, good citizens, yada yada. In fact, some people have made lucrative careers out of saying those things. It’s what everyone wants to hear. After all, why should we go through all this work if it’s not going to pay off?

But the fact is that there are no guarantees. And to those who point fingers and say, “Well, if you just do it right, your kids will turn out right,” I say “Beans!” I realize there’s no question that my husband and I made mistakes. All parents do. But when I think of how the Israelites treated God (see Exodus), why did I expect that none of my children would rebel or go in a different direction from the way we pointed them? Clearly each person must make their own way in life (and hopefully toward God). Not even the love of a homeschooling parent can overcome the effects of sin in the world.

But of course we had to try, and those of us specifically called to homeschool our children can’t regret it. (My mom friends and I talked about that a lot over Christmas!) We tried our best, but we’re learning that ultimately, our adult children’s lives are between them and God.

As for the verse in Proverbs that homeschoolers quote so often, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it,” I’ve written before that it’s a principle, not a promise, and also that we can’t ignore that phrase “when he is old.” Homeschooling doesn’t turn out perfectly formed adults at age 18. Each person is a lifelong project of God’s. We homeschooling parents were deeply involved in the first stage, but God will use all sorts of people and events to shape our children over the course of their lives. Hopefully there’s still time for each one of them to come to the personal realization that living God’s way is the only way to live.  (We talked a lot about that, too.)

If newer homeschoolers could have heard our conversations over Christmas, it might have frightened them. That vision of homeschool success is what kept us going during the most difficult times, and I hate to pop that bubble for anyone.

That said, I suspect that even if every homeschooling parent could be convinced that homeschooling is good but doesn’t create perfect adults, they’ll still be disappointed someday if their adult child makes poor choices. It’s what happens when you love someone so much. And since it’s this painful for us, imagine how God, the only perfect parent, feels when He sees us making similar poor choices.

Recognizing Your Hidden Curriculum

Posted on by
Reply

At times we homeschoolers start to get a bit weary of the curriculum we’re using, so we boost our spirits by thinking about what we want to use next year. We also look forward to the next homeschool convention, where we can go on the hunt for new materials.

We put a lot of time and thought into finding just the right books and resources to use with our children, and that’s important. But we should also put at least as much effort into recognizing the hidden curriculum, the one that teaches our children every day, whether we realize it or not.

Being with our children all the time, not just after school and on weekends, means they are exposed to our behavior all the time. All kids watch their parents and learn from watching their good (and bad) behavior, but our kids see far more of us than other kids see their parents. Kids whose parents both work full-time outside of the home may only see them for a few hours a day or less, and with the hectic weekends full of sports and other activities that are often a staple in the modern family’s routine, they don’t spend all that much time with them on the weekends, either.

But our kids are with us a lot. They’re watching how we live, and they’re subconsciously taking notes on everything they see. Those notes will be the basis for how they live their adult lives….a result of the hidden curriculum that they were taught by watching us every day.

This puts an awful lot of pressure on us as parents. Since we’re with our kids so much, we need to be especially aware of how we behave, because every aspect of our personal lives is a part of the hidden curriculum.

There are many features of the hidden curriculum. Consider:

The balance curriculum How do we spend our time? Do we run frantically from activity to appointment, never pausing to take time off for rest or fun or to just enjoy our lives and each other? Are we workaholics? The popular 1970s song “Cat’s in the Cradle” illustrates the balance curriculum: a father recalls how he always put off his son because he had so much work to do, and then tells how his son now has no time for him because he learned from his father’s example and is just too busy.

The marriage curriculum No marriage is without challenges, but how do we handle them? When the kids are always around, it’s impossible to hide those challenges from them for long. Do we handle disagreements respectfully, or do we lash out at each other? Do we make time alone with our spouse a priority, or do we have a “child-centered” marriage? The way we treat each other is the marriage curriculum for our children.

The love-thy-neighbor curriculum Are we demonstrating love in action for our children? When we hear of a friend and neighbor in need, do we help them out or decide to mind our own business? Getting the kids involved in baking cookies for a new neighbor or delivering dinner to a family with a new baby teaches them that loving others is a priority.

The faith curriculum How we feed (or starve) our faith is being watched closely by our children, and sets the stage for their own faith walk. Do we make time for personal and family devotions? Which choice usually wins…attending church services or sleeping in? Are we strangers at church or do we get involved in the work being done there? We can sermonize at length to our children about God, but if we aren’t walking our talk, the lesson of the hidden curriculum is “do as I say, not as I do.”

The financial curriculum How we handle money speaks volumes about us; our children are watching and learning from what we do. Do we pay our bills on time or lie to creditors over the phone? Do we put a little money away regularly or are we caught up in impressing others by buying big-ticket items we can’t afford? Since our children are home each day, they’ll probably be there when the tow truck comes to repossess the late-model car we impulsively bought. That will be a memorable lesson in the hidden curriculum!

The grieving curriculum Loss is an inevitable part of life, but in our society, we hide our grief from others, including our children. One mom who’d recently lost her own mother found that by holding in her feelings until the children were asleep, her grief overwhelmed her, and she needed professional help getting through it. It’s hard letting our kids see us cry, and when they’re around all day, it’s almost impossible to hold our feelings in. By sharing those emotions with them, we teach them it’s ok to mourn.

The child-rearing curriculum The way you treat your children is their training for the way they’ll treat your grandchildren. A mom who was regularly beaten by her parents was able, by the grace of God, to break the chain of abuse and not abuse her own children. They know her story, and now also know that the chain of abused children can and must be broken. How you discipline your children sets the stage for what they will consider normal in discipline….yet another facet of the hidden curriculum.

These are not the only parts of the hidden curriculum. I’m sure you can think of others. My point is that while it’s good to put a lot of energy into researching and finding the very best math books and reading series and science curriculum, it’s even more important to think about what kind of hidden curriculum we are using with our children. They are with us every day, absorbing that hidden curriculum even on the days when they don’t have to “do school.” That’s why we must never forget that as their parents, we are the authors of the hidden curriculum.

(Excerpted from Stages of Homeschooling: Enjoying the Journey, available from Cardamom Publishers.)